It's all good

Good-Bye 2010. . . Welcome 2011

2010-12-31T07:34:00.000-08:00

The holidays are such a wonderful time of year, but they can be stressful, too. It is so much fun to go to the parties, galas, concerts, pageants, and events, but sometimes the events double timed me. I’ve had to forgo a few things just because I can’t be in two places at once. And my list of things that have to be done for the holidays got way shorter this year. Like I didn’t bake cookies this year. We don’t eat them anyway, so what’s the point. And I didn’t put up all of my decorations. . . I just did the ones I could in the time I had. It is still all good.

It isn’t about decorations or cookies or events anyway. To me the holidays are about the people in my life – none of which missed the cookies or decorations. I’ve even used paper plates for some of the meals so I’m not stuck working in the kitchen when I can be playing with my family. It is the people who matter. . . not the food, decorations, gifts. . . just the people.

Some of my favorite memories from this holiday season are watching my gentle father tend to his little dog, Mini; meeting Daniel and Katelyn at the airport; shopping in Corvallis with mom, Jessica and Katelyn, dancing with Jessica in the hall at OMSI, dancing with Daniel at the Calapooia, watching my mom and dad put in earplugs at my church (LOL – yeah, it is a little loud), seeing my mom laugh at my dog Jack, movie time with family, the laughter and conversations at the dinner table. . .truly these are the blessings of the holidays. And they all have to do with the people in my life, not what we were doing or eating, just them.

So as 2010 ends and 2011 begins I’m taking these wonderful memories with me, deleting some things off of my obligatory “to do” list, and watching for times I can invest more in the people in my life. Truly, the gifts in my life are my family and friends.

Things that made me happy this week

2010-10-24T01:34:00.000-07:00

1. Finding my car keys Monday morning. LOL!
2. The amazing chili from the kiosk at work. (not for wimps, trust me!)
3. Megan's laugh. She has the best laugh ever!!!
4. Scratchably pink bellies on my dogs.
5. Wind chimes during an autumn storm.
6. Colorful leaves everywhere I look.
7. An invitation to do an underwater pumpkin carving contest.
8. Getting to fly an airplane.
9. Turning 51 with so many blessed wishes from friends.
10. Enjoying sleeping in on the weekend.

Flying

2010-10-24T00:34:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful experience today. I got to go flying. My friend Tim asked me if I wanted to go, and before he got the question out, I was screaming YES! It was so much fun. He picked me up at the Albany airport and we flew at 120 knots over I-5 towards Harrisburg, OR. I loved the flying, but more amazed at the beauty of the town I live in.

Everyday while driving to work I marvel at the beauty of this place, but seeing it from the air. . . well, it just took my breath away.

Tim offered me the controls of the airplane while traveling over I-5, but I declined. I needed to know more about what was going on in the cockpit, so I asked a ton of questions about the gauges, and what things were. . . then just watched him operate things while I took pictures.

We landed on a grass strip outside of Harrisburg where he learned to fly. That was really cool. The we took off for the Lebanon airport where Tim again offered me control of the airplane.

My hands were shaking and my palms sweaty as I took hold of the yoke. It wasn’t 2 seconds in before I realized that any movement I had, no matter how slight, made the airplane move and that I had to undo that movement.

It isn’t like driving a car.

But, thanks to Tim’s patience with me, I eventually flew the plane for a few minutes alone and am still alive to talk about it.

We stopped at the airport in Lebanon, OR where I got to meet the owner. He was a very gentle man who only had wonderful, positive thing to say. And he had an office dog. So I liked him immediately.

After leaving the Lebanon airport, we hit some turbulence. It made me laugh. It was way better than a roller coaster ride, and I knew there was nothing really wrong with the plane. . . just bumpy air. Tim was happy that is didn’t upset me. In fact, I was laughing.

Our ride ended way too soon. We got to fly over my house (3rd pic ~ yeah, I live in the woods) and then we had to land and it was over.

But I know I will never forget the thrill I got from being in control, even for a short time, of an airplane.

Thank you, Tim, for that opportunity.

It is the people in you life that matter.

2010-10-16T05:05:00.000-07:00

I just spent an amazing long weekend in South Florida with old and new friends. After this weekend, I can promise you that it isn’t the place you at or what is going on in your life, it is the people in your life that matter the most.

My high school friend Charlotte planned this event for us and she did an amazing job. It was both relaxing and totally fun. How she managed to blend so much fun and so much down time so we could just chill is amazing to me, but, then Charlotte rocks.

It was our 50^th birthday bash with a bunch of friends from high school. Yeah, we are all turning 50. What better place to celebrate than on the beach with each other. . . right?

We all stayed in the same hotel which was right on Hollywood Beach and the staff at the hotel was wonderful. I felt so pampered. And it was nice all of us being in the same place. We ate together, and played together.

There were so many fun things that happened. We went on a pub crawl one evening where we just walked the boardwalk and stopped in at the local venues. Pubs, shops, ice cream, sand, music. . . all up and down the boardwark. It was wonderful.

Then there was a catamaran trip that was breathtaking from beginning to end. The crew on the ship spoiled us rotten, and the views and sun and ocean spray just took away every stress and reminded me of how amazing this world is. It was so fun to watch everyone play and relax.

I was only in Ft Lauderdale for 4 days, but I already miss my friends, and the new friends I met there. I hope to go back soon.

It was so nice to be reminded of my roots from these friends from 30 years back. The people in you life matter the most. Everything else is just noise.

Invest in the people.

Hugs to you all.

I am a WARRIOR

2010-09-13T11:16:00.000-07:00

OMG. . . I did the most amazing race this weekend. Check out the Warrior Dash. What a COOL race. It was supposed to be with friends, but they all backed out, so I ended up at the starting alone without friends but with 100 other WARRIORS. I made some connections pretty quick, though.

The race started with fire belching out of the starting line which actually helped. By this time I was shivering and fire warmed me up while I waited for my turn to cross the timing mat. The first 200 yards were nothing but a normal race with some of the steepest hills I’ve ever done in my life, but then I ended up at a pond with five logs 4 feet in diameter in 45* water that was chest high. I had to scale all five logs. . . and I did with help and giving help to several other warriors.

Then onward up a muddy boggy slope to another obstacle….easy one this time. But the next one was difficult. It was called the wolfs spider web. It wasn’t hard except that it totally screwed up our depth perception. We could see that something was there, but it was difficult to find them without getting tangled in them. Then a few more climbing challenges, several rope challenges that were difficult at best, (splinter galore and lots of mud) then more steep hills. And when I say steep hills that we had to climb, the event organizers understood that we were in mud and may need some help. They had ropes dangling down so we could actually pull ourselves up these horrible, oxygen stealing hills. Or repel ourselves down them, whatever the case may be. I actually just sat on one and slid down on my behind.

THEN, we came to these tunnels. Okay, no big deal, except once in them. . . . everything was pitch black and they went on for eons. I was crawling, running into other racers, have other racers run into me. We couldn’t see ANYTHING. But once outta that we only had a few more obstacles to go.

Next was the fire pits. I was fine with what I saw in the intro videos, but what I had in front of me was WAY bigger. So I stopped and watched a few others do it first. Those flames were waist high. But I ran and scaled them all. I could feel the flames but didn’t get scorched.

But the last obstacle was a mud pit however it wasn’t too deep at first, but it varied. There was a lot of barbed wire across the top. I had to crawl through this mud pit, under the barbed wire. . . . and it was long and scary. But I made it to the finish line covered in mud, totally proud.

I am a WARRIOR. I even have a viking hat to prove it!

Wanna do the race with me next year? It is amazingly fun, totally challenging and NOTHING like you’ve ever done before. See you at the starting line.

Summertime in Oregon

2010-07-15T16:54:00.000-07:00

I wrote this last summer, but it still rings true today. . .

Summertime in Oregon slows us down. We linger longer on the porch with that first cup of morning coffee, we take more walks enjoying the brisk, beautiful air, and we wander through the farmer’s market picking out berries and freshly grown vegetables, visiting with neighbors, and talking to the vendors about the beautiful flowers. I think we all just are happy the rains have stopped and we feel the blessing of sun, friends, community and the beautiful bounty of Oregon.

Our driving also slows down during the summer. This has nothing to do with our attitudes of bliss. It’s because the road crews are out in force fixing up the potholes and tackling projects that weren’t possible during the rainy season. Flaggers wave cheerfully as they direct us to slow down just a little bit more. Bright orange signs warning us of upcoming road projects sprout along side the roads with the same abundance as blackberry bushes taking over the gardens. But this is a normal summertime event which we all just take in stride.

Driving also slows down because of the tractors and combines traveling from barn to field. Driving time increases as we become part of the parade of necessary farm implements some of which take up 1 ½ lanes so passing is impossible. John Deere green fills the view in front of us.

Oregon’s colors really are orange and green, but during the summer months that has nothing to do with the UofO Ducks and OSU Beavers. The ODOT road crews and John Deere machinery carry the Oregon colors for the summer.

My Cinderella Garden

2010-07-05T13:20:00.000-07:00

There’s just something about sunflowers and pumpkins that means summertime to me. I used to plant a full garden every year with tomatoes, corn, beans, melons, lettuce, strawberries. . . and sunflowers and pumpkins. Gardening is a lot of work, and I love it for the first few weeks. Then it becomes a chore.

I discovered that I enjoy shopping the farmer’s markets better than gardening. The selections are amazing, even more than I would have grown, plus I get to visit with neighbors, colleagues, listen to local musicians and enjoy the community that is the farmer’s market. It is a nice way to spend a Saturday morning. I love strolling from booth to booth, talking to the vendors, sampling the various types of fruits, trying out homemade breads, sniffing the marvelous floral varieties, visiting with friends I haven’t met yet, and friends I’ve known for years.

As an accountant I’ve figured this is cheaper than the cost of hours spent in the garden, tools, supplements for the plants, and, OMG, the cost of watering. . . so, if no other way, I can justify my lack of desire to have a full garden as being cost efficient. Yeah, that’s it. It is cost efficient. And I’m supporting local farmers. So it’s all good.

But, I can’t live a summer here in Oregon without growing my own sunflowers and pumpkins. This year instead of the mammoth sunflowers which I love growing, I planted dwarfs which I can keep in pots on my porch closer to me. They are so beautiful. . . golden heads haloed by deep green leafs nestled in burgundy ceramic pots.

As far as pumpkins go, I normally pick smaller varieties that I can use in cooking. But this year I changed it up. I bought some smaller ones, plus the Jack-o-lantern variety. This should be fun. I love how their vines sprawl across the dirt, orange flowers open to the sun and evolving into gourds that will become my pumpkin chariot into autumn.

Oooo, I better go shopping for some glass slippers. I wanna be ready when my pumpkins arrive.

Life at a Slower Pace

2010-06-08T05:32:00.000-07:00

The softballl season just started and I am on two teams. I love it. Fielding, batting, goofy around with my teammates . . . exercise, friends, gum, fun in the sun. . . what’s not to love?

But during a scrimmage on Memorial weekend I tore a hamstring muscle. Yeah, it was weird. It felt like a gunshot to my leg. Not only did I feel the pop while running to base, but I heard it. I didn’t know what had happened and wasn’t sure when that leg came down next if it would hold me up, but it did so I continued to run to the base.

In softball you go from a dead stop to a full blown sprint. I’m fit. I train for races, and when I’m not training, I still work out. Let’s just say that I felt totally prepared for softball season so was a little surprised to be sidelined like this.

I didn’t realize the severity of the injury at first even though people were telling me their experiences. But it’s been a few days now and I’ve seen my doctor. And now I’m walking slower, sitting more and finding other things to do that don’t require me to use my hamstring.

One thing about an injury, though, is that you don’t realize how often you use that body part till it lets you know every single time you do. Like with this hamstring tear. . . did you know you use your hamstrings while riding in a car, laughing, putting on socks, blow drying your hair, picking something up, not to mention just walking, sitting, standing, and bending your knees.

I got to see a hamstring specialist at physical therapy. He said I will make a full recovery due to my fitness level and determination. But, this hurts a lot. Everything I do hurts. My new mantra is “ice is my friend” but all I know at this point is ice is cold. Still working on the friendship part.

Yeah, I’m a happy camper and looking forward to whatever lesson this journey is going to teach me. Those lessons are always awesome, but so looking forward to a journey without pain.

Ready??? Scream!!!

2010-05-23T00:13:00.000-07:00

The last several months my husband has been keeping the home fires burning while I've been learning to SCUBA dive, and going on dive weekends. That changed 2 weeks ago when I volunteered to stay home to tend to the dogs while he went off diving with Jessica and our friends. They are gone this weekend, too.

I have learned a lot the past two weekends of being home alone and tending to our dogs. One is that I love my alone/quiet time. Now, don't get me wrong. I ADORE time with friends/family and doing things I love, but there is just a quality in alone time that is missing from our crazy lives.

The solitude was haunting at first because what ever I did was entirely up to me, but it became a friend after a bit. It has been nice to have time to write, not worry about taking care of others, dealing with all of those things that have been on the back burner. . . I'm sure you know.

The one thing I've learned over the last 2 weekends of solitude is that I have a lot of interests that don't involve friends or family that get lost in the day to day world. If I had a choice though, I'd choose friends and family - I LOVE the people in my life and would do anything for them. But when they aren't a choice, it is so nice to know I have a full buffet of things that interest me, that inspire me, that matter only to me. What a nice reminder for me.

Yeah, life is sweet. It has its own balances and checks. We just need to learn to ride the roller coaster of life. Ready? Here we go. . . Okay, hands in the air. . . . SCREAM!!!

Visibility

2010-04-21T19:55:00.000-07:00

This past week my kids turned 27 and 25. Yep, their birthdays are just a few days apart.

Daniel lives 2000 miles away so I didn’t get to celebrate with him in person, but we had fun online and on the phone. He’s such a wonderful man and a great friend. I adore him.

Jessica is here in Oregon for her birthday this year after 2 ½ years in Africa. God, I missed celebrating her birthday with her while she was gone. We celebrated this year underwater working on our advanced open water diving certification. It was a sweet week

end. Not only did I get to dive with Jessica, but I got to meet two of my high school friends, Debbie and Linda, for dinner, and then I got to celebrate Jessica’s birthday with about 20 other divers. It was so much fun! Truly!

The thing I wanted to write about, though, was the visibility on our 2^nd dive on Saturday. We had very low visibility on that dive.. . . maybe 3 feet, but we were together. It started out that it was just my dive buddies with me, but, before I knew it, there were other divers around us. It was a navigation dive and we were diving along compass headings and we were all in the same place. We couldn’t see where we were going, but we were together and following our designated paths. It was really cool.

It just reminded me of how our days go. There are so many times we can’t see the path, but we know where we are supposed to be going, what we are supposed to find. We trust those around us and our “gear” to get us there. It isn’t scary when you know that you are following the path that you are destined to be on even though you can’t see. Just breathe in and breathe out, trust your instincts, the people around you and know that you will end up where you are supposed to.

Just so you know, Jessica and I and the other divers never found the thing we were supposed to on that dive, but we ended up where we were supposed to. . . and that was good enough.

Believe everyday, whether you can see your path or you can’t, that you are where you are supposed to be. Keep on swimming, follow your buddies, trust yourself. . . . and Happy Bubbles to all of you on your journey. I’ll meet you there, friend.

Happy Bubbles

2010-03-06T19:48:00.000-08:00

So, my daughter just got back from 2 ½ years in Namibia serving in the Peace Corp in Khorixas. My surprise for her was to get my diving certification so we could dive together in Hawaii – her homecoming celebration. It was hard for me to pass all of the tests, but so worth it. I passed my certification right when her dive master brought her up from her 2nd dive – my 4th. It was so awesome! She saw my dive master clap and heard me scream through my regulator. There were lots of hugs at 54’ It was awesome.

Diving isn’t easy, but it is so worth it. The gear is overwhelming, and the suits are cumbersome, but I love it. Shore diving seems easier until you do it… hauling gear, fins, lots of sand… hard work. Boat diving seems scary at first – out in the middle of nowhere, but I so loved every single thing. Dangit, I may be addicted to diving. Everything was amazing.

We are diving this next weekend at Octopus Hole in Hoodsport. I can’t wait. Jessica and me and all of my dive friends.. . . . It will be awesome. Hope to post pics.

Happy bubbles, friends.

Ode to January Close

2010-02-15T19:30:00.000-08:00

Oh, January. Your month ends and I get to start sorting through the details of your financial data . . .payroll, AP, AR and all of the stats for the month. New parameters and old reports create havoc in the reconciliation process. New spreadsheets needing to be rolled forward with end of year 2009 balances as the new beginning 2010 balance. Building new formulas to capture the new parameters that the old reports can’t see take so much time.

Tums at the ready. Aspirin for the brain. Reading glasses to see the tiny numbers, lovingly called the Accountant Font, in row after row on printouts from the old reports that can’t capture the data due to the new parameters. Nothing is tying out.

Why, January? Why do you have to be so new? Why do new processes have to start with you, complicating an already hectic close? And why do the auditors show up asking questions about 2009 while we are trying to close you?

I plug in my iPod and try to settle into the groove of making your close happen, oh January. The beat of the music ends up in my finger tips as I figure your reserve calcs on my dinged up, coffee stained 10 key. More coffee doesn't help. Why, January? Why?

Let’s make peace, January. You try harder to keep your parameters the same as my spreadsheets and formulas know, and I keep your recons and beginning balances in tune. Deal? Um, January. . . Deal?

Time For Me

2010-01-26T15:55:00.000-08:00

Life is so busy right now. I’m not complaining, but I decided today to just stop. It has been sweet to catch up on things on the home front.

I’m taking two classes right now which keep my evenings busy. My one class is a level 2 poetry class with assignments every night. Some are just reading assignments, others are writing. After a full day of accounting, sometimes poems just don’t want to come out. When the weather’s nice I park myself on the back porch. For some reason I write better, easier on the back porch. With the crappy weather lately, though, I’ve been working from my comfy chair and it just isn’t the same. I’m a back porch bum. I may have to buy a chiminea so I can be outside with the cooler temps of this season.

I love cooking, too, and that takes up evening time. But there’s just something wonderful about preparing beautiful, delicious food. It’s a Zen thing for me.

My social calendar has been full lately, too. I love playing with my friends. . .bunko, blues, brews, burgers. Last weekend I had a girls weekend at the coast, a blues jam when I got home, then a dinner party after that.

Do you see what’s missing? Time to get chores done, yep. I manage the best I can, but my home deserves more than just a lick and a promise. Today I stopped, took care of me, took care of my home, and got my homework all caught up. It feels good to make me the priority today. Work will still be there tomorrow and I will be better able to deal with it now that things are settled in my life.

So I want to encourage all of you to find some “me” time. You deserve it and you’ll feel better taking care of yourself. I know I do.

Good-bye 2009

2009-12-31T13:52:00.000-08:00

It really has been a wonderful year for me. My friends have so enriched my life this past year. I have made so many new friends thanks to my new church, The Grove. We’ve worked together to make The Grove happen, and it did. I’ve also reconnected with many of my high school and college friends. It has been wonderful to get reacquainted with them all. It’s almost as if we were never apart. I’m so glad they are back in my life.

Some highlights of my past year:

AFRICA – I got to visit my daughter in Namibia for 3 weeks in May. To see how she lives there, and to watch her teach the kids. . . well, I was in awe. I will never forget that experience for as long as God allows me to live.

New York – Thanksgiving in New York was amazing. Daniel and I got to see a Broadway show, then attend the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade the next day. It was truly a wonderful experience for me to share with my son, who is my friend.

Writing – I’ve been blessed to attend a few conferences this year and connect with some wonderful writers and find a couple of mentors. I love having this dimension in my world now.

Races – I was blessed to race in 3 events this year. I did the Eugene ½ marathon in May with my friend Jamie. This summer I was part of an AWESOME team of women competing in the Portland to Coast relay. That was fun! Exhausting, but fun. This fall I competed in Run Like Hell in Portland. The relay race was exhausting, but Run Like Hell hurt. I guess that’s why they named it Run Like Hell, go figure. I will so do it again, though. What a challenge.

Music – My music world has so opened up this year. Not only do I have a whole new batch of music friends that I adore, but I started playing my flute again. It feels great to be able to do that.

Other things – I got to play softball this summer on a team from work, took dancing lessons at OSU, joined Soroptomist International, got a new dog named Jack, became a great aunt twice, got a Mustang, and discovered Silver jeans and Moroccan oil (if you don’t know what those are, Google them).

Yes, 2009 has been very good to me, but I’m ready for 2010. Why, you may ask? Because I can see the growth and beauty from this past year, and can’t wait to see what wonderful things are in store in 2010. I so look forward to sharing it with you, friend.

Just Thoughts

2009-12-19T02:52:00.000-08:00

There are some things I don’t understand. I’m 50 years old. I thought by now I would get it. But even though my chronicle years are five decades old, my inner years are only two or three decades old. I mean I have wisdom now that I didn’t have then, and I have a sense of me that I never thought I would ever have. Those things are great, but I just thought there’d be some click, a change, a revelation. . .something, you know.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m very happy. I have close, dear friends that I love and who love me no matter what. I have money to spend which I didn’t have when I was in my 20s and 30s. I am part of a church that is making a difference in this city. And I have adult children who are now my friends. . .very dear friends. I love that. So I’m not complaining about where I am.

It’s just that I moved from a frightened nervous worry-wart person to this confident, happy person, and there wasn’t a fanfare, an ‘aha’ moment, an epiphany, a noticeable paradigm shift. . . it was just this gradual shift. I’m slightly disappointed. THAT is what I don’t understand. I really wanted some fireworks, a roll off, to be able to yell “Ta Da”. . . I would have done a cartwheel.

And I don’t understand people who just don’t get it. I didn’t used to get it so you’d think I’d be patient with them, but it just seems so simple now. Is it the years that give it this simplicity, or is it something in me?

Anyway, for those of you still on the frightened, nervous, worry-wart path, no worries. It will all be okay. Just saying. . . life is what you make it and want it to be. So just go for it!

Mary's Peak

2009-12-06T13:42:00.000-08:00

Majestic Mary’s Peak fills the
   view in the morning
      on my routine drive to work
a parade of cars stream
   down the rural highway
      the smell of fresh coffee
         oldies on my radio
I come around the bend
   there she stands like she
      was waiting just for me
A ring of clouds rest
   around her shoulders
      like a feathery white boa
         worn by a queen
morning rays shine on her
   peak like a spotlight
      highlighting her beauty
a crescent moon low in
   the westerly sky hangs just
      to her right against a
         dark blue canvas
I imagine hiking to the top
   to see the highway that
      she sees each day
to see the valley floor
   as the sunlight kisses
      the tree tops
to see the hills beyond
   to become one with
      Mary’s Peak.

Thanksgiving with my son.

2009-12-01T04:51:00.000-08:00

WOW! Let me just start this off with a WOW!

It started Wednesday morning in New Hampshire. Daniel picked me up at the airport and we drove to New York City. Due to traffic, we got to our hotel late and had to change for the show right away so we had a snack on the run. Walking down Broadway to the theater was memorable. All I could say was “can you believe we are here?” It was surreal. Then we saw The Lion King. Beautiful show! Amazing night!

Thanksgiving morning started early because we wanted to get a good viewing spot for the parade and we did. The Macy’s Day parade from the corner of 49th and 7th ave is great, in case you ever want to go. And the coffee shop right there rocks! We had so much fun kibitzing with the people around us and talking to the cops.

But Thanksgiving wouldn’t be complete without making it to the party at Daniel’s home. We got back to his house just in time. His friends are warm and funny, and the house where Daniel lives is very comfortable. And dinner was delicious. Kate and Alec who own the house are wonderful hosts.

Daniel and I spent the next few days shopping, going to movies, working out at the gym (yes, my son’s a gym rat, too), listening to music, eating way too much, touring the beautiful White Mountains, and just playing.

Last night I got to go to his Jiu Jitsu class. I was allowed to participate in part of the class. It was fun and I learned some basic self defense moves. It was nice watching Daniel spar and grapple with the other people in the class. It reminded me of when he was a wrestler in high school. He was an awesome wrestler.

Daniel is an incredible person. It didn’t really matter what we did, it was amazing. He is such a gentleman, too. He opened my car door, smiled at me across the gym, made sure I had enough blankets, didn’t scold me about drinking too much coffee. . . he is a sweet man, a wonderful son and one of my best friends.

See, I told you WOW!

Confessions of a Gym Rat

2009-11-15T14:48:00.000-08:00

I am a gym rat. Always have been, always will be. I get asked all of the time how I can do it, how I can get up at 5 a.m. for boot camp, how I can train and complete a marathon, how I can find the time to do it, and what motivates me. To be quite honest, I really don’t know what motivates me exactly. I like being fit. I like being able to wear cute clothes. I like setting the bar a little higher just to see if I can do it. I like having a lot of energy. But mostly I think I’m addicted to endorphins and cute clothes, though. Hey, I’m being honest. Oh, and there’s the food thing. You can't like eating like I do and be a size 4. Gotta burn off that roasted duck and Crème Brulee somehow.

Also, I have an analytical job that requires me to be still. Sometimes I can’t shut my brain off after work. Hitting the gym allows me to find that off switch a little easier. And then I can find a place in my brain to do my passion which is writing. See, it all blends together perfectly.

When I was in secondary school I participated in every sport I could: volleyball, track, cross country, and basketball. During the summers I was on the softball team, played tennis, and swam. In college I didn’t get to participate on any teams mainly because I was already a mom and a military wife with a lot of volunteer duties. That in and of itself was a workout, but I still was able to go to the gym and swim. Plus our family hiked and canoed. My kids could tell a few horror stories about THAT, canoe trips where we got lost in bayous in Louisiana, hiking trips through rivers and boulders. Those are stories for another blog post, however. . . .or maybe for them to tell there therapists.

I loved going to the gym on military bases. I’d work out in the weight room with all of the young recruits. A lot of times I’d be the only woman in there and my son would call me a buff chick. His respect for me was major motivation. There’s a respect in the weight room, too. Everybody watches everyone and there is a healthy competition for form and reps, but a silent respect for each other that we are up and making something happen. No excuses! Of course, I never had to wait for the weights I wanted. They were pumping 50 pounders while I was doing the 15s, but hey, I’m a girl. It’s what I can do.

Then there was the time my husband and I decided to hike the Oregon section of the Pacific Coast Trail. Now remember, I was the girl in the weight room with the 15 pound weights, okay. Well, my pack was 50 pounds. I was throwing up by the end of the first day, had bruised toes by the end of the second day, and ended up leaving the trail on day 5 missing 7 toenails and my dignity. Guess I should have trained with a 50 pound pack, or smacked my husband for thinking we should have equally balanced packs. God, he is 180 pounds, I’m 130 pounds. At least he could have rationed them out accordingly. My toenails grew back and they are painted pink right now mainly because they are still bruised from my last race. Toenails are for sissies.

Once I became an empty nester, though, my gym rat persona came back big time. I have a lot more free time to fill however I want. I have friends who are marathoners and tri-athletes. We spend time talking about the best running shoes, where the next races are, how many miles we put in this week, and where the cutest workout clothes are (try Lucy’s in Bridgeport!). It’s awesome to have that connection with these amazing women! Who knew that being a gym rat was a girly thing to do?

We call it pounding pavement. The rhythm of my pace, the sounds of my breaths and the music in my iPod are exhilarating. Plus I live in a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL place. I come up over hills and can see Mt Jefferson in his entire splendor, come around the bend upon deer feeding in McDonald forest, or meet another person with some cute puppy dogs. It’s all fodder for writing later, and it is all motivation to keep going. Who knows what’s around the next bend or over the next hill. I so gotta know.

You know, I may actually do it for the race t-shirts, the carb loading, and the cheesy medals.

NAH . . . it’s for the cute clothes. I’m such a girl.

My Life on Facebook

2009-11-06T16:41:00.000-08:00

Okay, I guess I need to write about Facebook. It’s a part of my life. I’m not addicted, but I’m really enjoying connecting with so many people. I’m closing in on 400 FB friends and I so enjoy chatting with them all. I’ve reconnected with people I’ve lost touch with after high school and college, I work through FB with my writing friends and my church friends, find out about blues events which I love, as well as things going on at Oregon State University. . . And the best part is that I’ve made new friends through FB. One of my FB friends called it “the new front porch” and I think that describes FB well. I can sit on my back porch and visit with anyone one around the world while they sit on their porch. We may not be able to share lemonade, but we can share ideas, pictures, jabs and encourgement just the same. And I love it!

I’ve read that if FB were a country, it would the 4th largest country in the world. I believe it. People need people. (crap, I’m channeling Barbara Streisand.) We need to invest in each other and have that investment back. People I would have never met are now good friends. I’m having conversations with people I’ve lost contact with for 30 years as if we just saw each other yesterday.. . .except now they are grandparents. Funny, they sound the same as the day we graduated.
Wonder if I do?

Anyway, there are many people in my life that think FB is a waste of time. I so disagree. I have FB friends from every generation, political and religious viewpoint, from so many walks of life and backgrounds, plus the groups!!! I’m part of a FB writing group not to mention that my church is on FB 100%. I would have to say that FB has been a blessing to me. I mean, really, how can one say no to new groups, new friends, and new connections with old friends? We may only chat and message through FB, but we have a connection and encourage each other. How can that be bad?

And, I know I’m preaching to the choir. If you are reading this then it is most likely through FB notes and not my blog. But I’m thinking we all need to spread the word. Connect, dammit! Connect with those lost friends, with those friends you don’t know exist yet. Just connect and invest, dammit.

Um, sorry for the swear words Pastor James. I’ll put extra in the collection plate this Sunday.

Turning 50

2009-10-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday. I am 50. There’s been a lot of teasing lately about mid-life crisis. I’m sure buying a new red Mustang convertible had something to do with that. My life has changed a lot in the last few years. I went from being a soccer mom, to an empty-nester in a blink of an eye. The goal of parenting is to work yourself out of a job. And I did that. It was hard at first, but I love the change and the freedom it has given me. My children are my friends, now. And what’s really weird is people actually know my name. I used to be Jessica’s mom, or Daniel’s mom. Now I’m just Linda. Sweet!

Another change is at work. It used to be work was way down on the list of important things. It was what I did so that I could send my kids to college. But now it is something I do that really fulfills me. Who knew work could be personally rewarding. I love crunching numbers with the most awesome team of accountants and analysts. Many of them have become friends, too.

The most important change, though, is that I don’t feel like I’m hiding anymore. I don’t know why I felt I had to hide, or apologize for everything, but I feel so much more secure in who I am. I still have a heart, but I know longer wear it on my sleeve. I’ve learned to say no to things I don’t want to do. Negative people I keep at an arms length now when before I would kowtow to them. Guess what? It didn’t make them less negative, only more. Joy is something that just happens to me everyday. A dear friend asked me today what I see when I look in the mirror. I answered “I see happy” and I am.

There is no mid-crisis in turning 50 for me. It’s all mid-life CLARITY!!! I feel like singing “I can see clearly now the rain is gone.”

And since the rain is gone, I’m gonna go hop in my new red convertible Mustang and go shopping.

Homeless Man

2009-10-11T15:30:00.000-07:00

He used to be a strapping young man
with dreams and plans for the future
dreams of being a test pilot or a football star
like every other young adult
now decades later he sits on the corner
of the busy parking lot
wearing regurgitated clothing
looking like he himself is the result of
having been spit out of life’s mouth the way
a tobacco user spews his chew
next to him is a big dirty blonde dog
his head lies on the man’s thigh
thankful to have a companion
oblivious to his predicament
the man’s grimy hand rests on the dog’s shoulder
as if reassuring him they will have a meal today
they don’t let dogs into the shelter at night
he’d rather have his best friend than a warm bed
a hot meal and a shower
their bond made stronger by the struggle

Closed doors ~ Open windows

2009-09-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

I had a change in my life last spring that caused me some pain. A friendship ended and it hurt at first. I felt lonely, disappointed and confused. As the weeks went by I started noticing how I had changed to fit into this friend’s world. To be honest, I didn’t even realize I had done that. Sometimes we need a shake up in our lives to sort out the good from the bad, the things we should keep and the things we need to get rid of fast!

Time has a way of healing hurts. And, as the saying goes, when God closes a door, he opens a window. Well, I’m here to report to you that I’m so glad that door closed even though it hurt at the time. God has not only opened up windows for me, but doors and the sunroof and my heart. I have been blessed with many new friendships in that past several months. These are people that would not have fit into my friend’s world and I would have missed them. I’ve reconnected with many of my high school friends which has been a major blessing (love you guys). I’ve found a circle of marathon friends that encourage me (you all rock). I’m part of a church planting team that has been another major blessing to me (yippee). The break upinspired me to start investing in my writing more and that has opened many doors for me along with many new friendships - What passionate people. None of these things would have happened if that friendship had survived.

Is it weird to want to thank someone for dumping you?

I love weeds!

2009-09-19T19:14:00.000-07:00

I was in the garden today trying to pull weeds. I used every ounce of strength in my hands and had to resort to tools to get those suckers out roots and all. They were tenacious, willing to live and to fight me with every capillary they had. But, then I went to dead head my geraniums. Those wimps were ready to come up roots and with the slightest pull. WHY? Why do we insist on calling pretty yellow dandelions weeds and why aren’t they acceptable? And why are geraniums considered a pretty flower when they require so much work to keep them blooming? Dandelions LOVE blooming. I like that about them. They are happy and yellow and want to thrive. What’s not to like?

Then it made me start thinking about people. Are some people considered weeds? Are some people treasured more, the flowers in our world? I think some of the people our society treasures require a whole lot more than some of the weeds in our society. And who actually contributes to our community? I mean really? Not to dis anyone, but what does Paris Hilton contribute besides economically by shopping compared to the laborer who works 12 hour days tending a field?

The other day I was asked by a homeless woman for bus change. I hate change. My first response was that I didn’t have any change because I normally don’t really have any on me.. . .I dump it in the console of my car, but then I remembered - recently I had gathered up all of the change in my car and put it in a little wallet. I figured I’d use it for coffee money or something, but I wanted it all in one place so it wasn’t in my way anymore. Change just gets in the way, doesn’t it? The little wallet was sitting on my front seat when this lady approached me. I picked up the wallet and handed to her. There was enough money in there for bus fare, several days worth of coffee and a scone or two, and I’m sure a few meals at the local McDonalds. I dump all of my change for the last 2 months in my console. The wallet was worth even more than its contents, though, but I’m sure she didn’t care about that. I didn’t care at the time about that either. I cared more about this woman. The look on her face when I handed her the wallet was the best thing ever. Talk about a connection, I think that was one that made my week.

This woman would probably be considered a weed. She isn’t a Paris kind of person. . . the type of people our society considers a flower not that there is anything wrong with Paris. There was no glamour in this woman, no little dog in her bag (she didn’t have a bag) and I’m pretty sure her clothes didn’t have any names on the labels unless they were written in laundry marker. There was nothing in this woman except a simple request person to person. I liked her. She said she liked my car. I’m glad she took the wallet full of change I gave her, and I’m glad God made me pick it all up and put it in the wallet the days just before. It felt like it was one of those “meant to be” moments.

I don’t know where this woman went on the bus, but I sure hope that whoever tends the garden she lives in never tries to dig her up. I think she will bloom no matter what, and I like that in a person.

I'm still a Kansas girl!

2009-09-15T18:08:00.000-07:00

Being a Kansan, I hear "You're not in Kansas anymore" all of the time. Other responses I get when I say I’m from Kansas are “Do you know Dorothy?” or “Hey, my uncle lives in Tonganoxie. Do you know him?” or “God, how on earth did you end up in Oregon.”

I know better than to say I’m grew up in Leavenworth. OMG – the comments then get really old. “What were you in for?” “Do you like life outside the wall?” “Oh, so you know how to make license plates.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. . . try to think up something new, folks.

But today I got a box in the mail. I didn’t order anything, then I saw it was from a gift shop in Leavenworth. So I ripped it open knowing it had to be something delicious and fabulous from my mom. She has a great sense of humor and she has great tastes. Mix those two together, and it means wonderful surprises! I love my mom.

Box is open and I saw the back of what I knew was a door mat. I squealed with delight. I knew whatever it was on the front was going to be something else. . .and I was right. But first I read the note. It said:

Linda, Right after I read your comment that you felt like a true “Oregonian” when walking in the rain without an umbrella, I saw this door mat and thought of you – so bought it. Consider it an “unbirthday” gift.

Be sure to read the note on the back. It is funny!! Love, Mom.

I then looked at the front of the door mat and it read “You are not in Kansas anymore”. And it is printed on a yellow brick pattern. So CUTE!

Okay, first lets go back to the note. If anyone else would have said to me “I saw this door mat and thought of you” I would most likely not be excited. To be equated to a door mat does not fit my persona, well, I sure hope it doesn’t. But being that it was said from my mom, I knew it was going to be something special. Mom, you can equate door mats with your favorite youngest child anytime.

Okay, are you ready for the note on the back of the mat? Here it is:

Do not use mat as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury. When using mat, follow directions: Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about. This mat is not designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000 lbs. If mat begins to smoke, immediately seek shelter and cover head. Caution: If coffee spills on mat, assume that it is very hot. This mat is not intended to be used as a placemat. Small food particles trapped in fibers may attract rodents and other vermin. Do not glue mat to porous surfaces, such as pregnant women, pets and heavy machinery. When not in use, mat should be kept out of reach of children diagnosed with CFED (compulsive fiber eating disorder) Do not taunt mat. Failure to comply relieves the makers of this doormat of any and all liability.

I loved this. How perfect for today’s society of senseless lawsuits. This company understands that nonsense, but yet still had to do a disclaimer. They did it perfectly. “assume the coffee is hot” Really? Coffee is hot? Who knew?

Anyway, it is a lovely gift, not just the mat, but being thought of in such a special way, and then the gift of laughter. No one can give a better gift than love and laughter.

Now excuse me while I go wipe my feet just like my mom taught me.

THANKS, MOM! I love it!!!

Wheat Fields

2009-09-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

James 4:14 Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.

Life is a sweet vapor that appears
like early morning mist on a
Kansas wheat fields in late August
here for mere moments
reflecting the gift of rays
from the sunrise
caressing the
rolling fields of golden spires
creating colors both muted and bright
nourishing the robust wheat berries
that are ready for harvest
then in the next moment
it is gone
just like me.

Things that made me smile this week. . .

2009-09-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

1. Sunrise. The sunrises this week were beautiful. I loved watching the pink clouds change to periwinkle, watching the tops of the trees brighten up with first rays of sunlight and all of this was heralded by the rooster next door. Inspiring.

2. Budget meetings. Yeah, I know this sounds weird, but I enjoy the people I work with and they make me laugh.

3. Serving corn at the Farmer’s Market with the Grove church. I love seeing all the people, smelling the hot fresh corn cooking and listening to their corn stories. Some were corny, but most were sweet. (sorry, couldn’t resist those puns)

4. TRISHA coming to dinner. I love her! The pic of me and Trisha! Isn't she cute?

5. Jack and Lucy. I come home to the most exuberant greeting each day.

6. Happy Meals. Yep, they are appropriately named. And I get to give my toy to my friend’s daughter. She’s so cute!

7. Discovering a bug bite medicine that actually works! Ahhhhh

8. Fresh Black-Eyed Susans on my beautiful brand new orange plaid table cloth in my gorgeous dining room. I love my house.

9. Great shoe sale at Sole Train. They have the cutest shoes ever and you know me and cute shoes!

10. Yoga pants. Nothing feels as good, or fits as well as good yoga pants. Mine are Lucy brand. They are the best.

Carrying the Baton - Portland to Coast Race

2009-08-30T12:18:00.000-07:00

I got home from the Portland to Coast race about 4 hours ago. It was one of the most intense 37 hours I’ve spent recently. Our team, the ChevroLegs had 11 members, all women. We had 2 vans that carried us to our various legs of the race. These 11 women weren’t all friends when we loaded the van in the wee hours of Friday morning, some of us were barely acquaintances at the start of the race, but now I believe we have a connection that will last a long time. Truly, this is an amazing group of women dedicated to this event, and now to each other. And most of us are already on the 2010 team! Can’t wait. Next time, though, I’m bringing bug repellent.

The Portland to Coast race is the world's largest walking relay. It is 127 miles made up of 24 legs. We had a slap bracelet we used as a baton that we'd exchange at the beginning of each leg. Being women, we'd take the bracelet off a few yards before the chute and dry off our sweat before slapping it onto the next walker. It made me laugh every time. Bet the guys didn't dry off their sweat before passing it onto their teammate and I'll bet that teammate didn't care. Women care about sweat.

So why would I want to get up at 3 in the morning, travel for a few hours to wait my turn to compete in a relay race that takes us from the beautiful city of Portland, Oregon to the dreamlike town of Seaside, Oregon? Why would I want to be awake for a multitude of hours tending to women I hardly knew the day before, competing in complete darkness along narrow roads, sleeping (there really wasn’t any sleep but we tried) on the floors of vans, and eating food provided by the local equestrian club of whatever town we were in at the time? (Um, I didn’t ask what the food was at that point, I just ate and it was delicious.)

Why did we do this? Well, one reason is to challenge ourselves. We not only competed against our own abilities, but we competed against other teams while becoming a connected, solid, formidable team. And we not only started out as acquaintances or less, but during the race, the ordeal, the lack of sleep and food, the multitude of bug bites, managing porta potties in complete darkness and the tenuous terrain, we became linked, we became a team and we became friends. And that, my blog friends, is why I do this.

I love connecting with people. I like knowing who they are, where they come from and what they love. I like encouraging them to meet challenges and I like to receive that same encouragement back. It is amazing being a part of a group like the ChevroLegs; a group of compassionate, fit, caring, focused women who want to become more than who they are right now even if it means giving up sleep and collecting a massive amount of bug bites, blisters and muscle pains from places they didn’t know they had muscles. . . .even if it means showering in facilities that we normally wouldn’t consider disrobing in, and blow drying our hair under hand driers in the public facilities . . . . even if it means walking desolate roads with only a head lamp, reflector vest, a can of mace and the baton that we need to get to our team mate so they can walk a desolate road with only a head lamp, reflector vest, a can of mace, absolutely no cell phone reception so they can deliver the baton. It is a challenge. You don’t want to drop the baton in a race, just like you don’t want to drop the baton in life.

Why do I put myself through daily workouts and spending weekend mornings training and then eventually competing in events like Portland to Coast? One is to develop friendships with team mates and competitors that go beyond the normal day in, day out relationships. Another is to develop that friendship within me – the one that shows me what I am made of and what I can accomplish when I put it on the line. But mainly I do it to remind myself that I am carrying the baton everyday of my life, and it does matter that I carry it well to the next person, and that, when it is my turn again, to receive the baton with enthusiasm, dedication and the commitment to my fellow humans to carry it to the best of my ability. And that is why I race.

Simple question, not so simple answer

2009-08-17T16:55:00.000-07:00

Why do I want to write? I get asked that question every so often. It isn't that easy to answer in a social situation without having the person start backing up and get very quiet. So I usually just say that it is fun. And it is fun for me so I'm not being dishonest. But it is so much more than that.

Sometimes I write to stop my analytical brain from crunching numbers. That crunching sound gets very annoying when I’m not at work and when it isn’t me eating some potato chips.

Most of the time I write because I want to break through the ice and see what is really going on down deep inside. Sometimes I amazed at what comes out when I do finally break through the ice. Other times I’m shocked that I was actually thinking/feeling/believing something I wasn’t aware of.

One thing I am sure of, it doesn’t matter why I write as much as it matters THAT I write. I will share some of these things with you in due time, but for now, I’m going to take some of that chipped ice and make a margarita. Crap, where did I stash that blender?

Things that made me happy this week

2009-08-16T15:01:00.000-07:00

1. 11:30 pm French fry run. Sometimes you just gotta have French fries.

2. Playing with Jack. Such exuberance.

3. Writing poetry. Anybody wanna read it?

4. Making jewelry for my friends. I really like creating.

5. CUTE new shoes. I love cute shoes.

6. ZZ Top in my cd player in my car with the volume up and the top down.

7. Training for the Portland to Coast race. It feels so good to train.

8. Coffee from the 76 station. It's like going into Cheers bar. Everybody knows my name.

9. Planning a Namibia trip for my son to visit his little sister. COOL!

10. Watching Lucy sleep. Her legs get to moving like she is chasing a moose. I often wonder what she is dreaming about.

11. Trading pictures with my friend. I love my iPhone.

12. Playing on Facebook with my friends. Facebook is the new front porch. Come on by and sit a spell.

Things that made me happy this week

2009-08-09T14:46:00.000-07:00

1. Working with Ellen Bass, Sage Cohen, Robert McDowell and Deborah Herman on poetry and writing.

2. Being part of The Grove finance team – that is pretty exciting

3. Driving my new car – it is pretty cool

4. Talking to old friends and meeting new friends – I love people

5. Black-eyed Susans in full bloom. BEAUTIFUL!

6. Having Sage Cohen ask for one of my poems. Wow!

7. Deb – she is a great hugger.

8. Being called a Warrior Moose – you kind of had to be there, but it was funny and endearing and still makes me laugh. (send me an e-mail if you want to hear the story)

9. M U S I C – especially live blues at the Calapooia

10. Training for the Portland to Coast race. What a wonderful challenge

The Sunflower

2009-08-06T18:59:00.000-07:00

The sunflower looked beautiful
in my cobalt blue vase
a golden halo of translucent petals
reached away from the brunette hub
as if trying to experience something more
to touch one more piece of life
An olive grey stalk sipped water
a stalk that oozed out
some of its life when I cut it
to confine it
in my cobalt blue vase

As the days pass
the sunflower’s head bows
the fibrous stalk bends
as if the weight of the head
is too much for it to bear.
Petals that once were vibrant
are edged in rotting brown
the leaf is sagging
too tired to salute any longer
Scattered petals litter my table
falling like tears
surrendered
not wanting to be imprisoned any longer
in my cobalt blue vase.

A Sweet Ride Into Empy Nest

2009-07-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

When I was sitting in the sand box 20 years ago with my children, I could not envision a day when they would be on their own. I didn’t really try because the constant demands of parenthood kept me in the here and now (or the then and there since it was 20 years ago). I loved being a parent. I loved being the room mom, making cookies, working on projects, planning birthday parties, making their clothes, walking them to school, teaching them to ride a bike and eventually drive a car, and watching them grow into the wonderfully independent and happy adults they now are.

While raising children I, personally, became a rut lover. What I mean is that I wore the same type of clothes, never tried different foods, jewelry, clothing or shoes, and I was controlled by the clock and calendar. I was in a rut that worked for me. My time was consumed taking care of everyone else – band camp, grocery shopping, church, homework, science fair, vet appointments, work, military wife duties, chores. . . well, you know the list - that I just stuck with one thing that worked. I didn’t have to think about it so it was one thing off my list.

Kids just don’t leave, though. Like, they aren’t here one day and gone the next. It’s a gradual process. College is a gray area. They are kind of gone, but not really. This gray college time is good for everyone. It eased me into empty nest and it eased them away for parents. I called it Empty Nest Lite.

Then college was over. The kids were gone and I now had time on my hands. So. . . .now what? At first I was overwhelmed and wasn’t too sure what to do. Crying was an option, but I’m not a good crier. It was time for me to rediscover me and, boy, have I been having fun. My first goal was to try to live a life that my kids would want to be part of. That was a great start and a great idea to get things going.

So I lost 20 something pounds, started marathoning, joined some groups, and became a regular at some of the local venues. All of that meant new friends along with new experiences. My new friends helped me find some hipper clothes and cuter shoes, and encouraged me to experience new foods. I think I’ve finally found my style and I like it.

Then I discovered Facebook and started looking up friends from years gone by. Reconnecting with these amazing friends has been an incredible experience. These old friends reminded me of some of the things I used to do, like writing. I had forgotten how much fun and enriching writing can be. And music. I used to be so involved with music. I rediscovered blues and attend a blues jam once a week now. I’m not a participant, but an enthusiastic listener. I know all of the musicians and actually attend their concerts.

Anyway, it’s all a journey. I loved those sandbox days and wouldn’t trade them for anything. I loved the school days with all of the hectic schedules, fundraisers, volunteering and carpooling. I loved the college years and being part of intellectual conversations with my kids and meeting their new college friends. Whoa, that was so much fun!

However, I especially love now. My children have become my friends. They are amazingly strong, independent, courageous people. They are hard workers, happy, compassionate and funny adults who understand the importance of living life to the fullest. We talk about everything and I love that! I’m so proud of them and who they are. But mostly, I’m honored to be their friend.

Things that made me happy this week

2009-07-23T16:14:00.001-07:00

Playing softball on Sunday - We won but that didn’t matter. It was just awesome to play with some old and new friends! In the pic is my boss, Sarah. She's a wonderful softball player
Being part of The Grove finance team – Awesome group of selfless people. Rock on GROVE!
BLACKBERRIES (need I say more)
Seeing Mary’s Peak on my way to work – Mary’s Peak is my favorite spot in the entire world. Waikiki beach is 2^nd.
Red fingernail polish and blue eye shadow- (see #6)
Red, White and Blue Bunko - (explains the nail polish)I love playing Bunko with my friends and I especially love hosting! In the pic are my friends Joy, Hallie and Carole

Ballroom dancing class – I’m starting to get it! And wearing the right shoes and a twirly skirt makes it even better.
Posts from Jessica and Daniel on my FB wall – my kids are the most amazing people I’ve ever met.
Hazelnut coffee from the 76 station – I love being a regular there. I know everyone’s name and they know mine.
Windows down, music cranked up! Rockin’ home from work – there’s nothing quite as freeing!

A Good Friend - once

2009-07-17T17:58:00.000-07:00

My best friend of 7 years decided a few months ago that she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. As a kid in middle school and high school I experience this before, but not as an almost 50 year old adult. It is so strange to be going through this. Yes, she did give me a reason that I now see was an excuse so I still don’t really know why. How does someone just flick that switch between love and indifference so easily? Now I see how valuable 20/20 hindsight is. I could have seen this coming if I had paid attention a year ago.

I was curious why the friends we had in common weren’t asking me what was up. Well, I found out recently. She’s been talking about me and saying some rather untrue things. Like I said, I dealt this with as a young teen. I just can’t believe that this woman that I loved and trusted is doing this. It isn’t the person I knew.

Just to let you know now before you read any further that I’m doing fine. I’ve found a good balance and am living a very happy life. . . just one without her. I miss who she was. I don’t miss who she is. My life is still an awesome life. No worries, friends.

What has been interesting is watching our common friends trying to decide what to do. I don’t say anything negative, and yet my ‘friend’ is saying some very negative things about me and acting out. I feel so bad for our common friends. Most of them don’t want to take sides and I think it hurts them to hear this stuff from her.

There are a few that have chosen to believe her. They know how tight we were and they seem to be wanting that prized spot I once had in her life. I so want to ask them, if she will do this to me, what make you think she won’t do this to you. . . .but I don’t. I just smile and say good morning and act as normally as possible. People are strange creatures, aren’t they? Aren’t we?

I won’t let this deter me from investing in people. I love being around people, meeting new people, finding that connection that will make them relax and smile. Even though our 7 year friendship is over, I still can’t complain. It was a wonderful 7 years. She was a devoted friend with a warm generous spirit. I don’t know exactly why she decided that I didn’t fit into her life anymore, but I respect her choice.

Maybe some relationships are only destined to be for a period of time. I debated this with one of my online friends recently. We connect, help each other through the daily journey for a while, then grow apart.

I have fond memories of our 7 years together and I wish her the best.

One other thing I wish, is that she had the same respect for me and would stop saying negative things.

Good bye my good friend. I miss you.

Summertime in Oregon

2009-06-27T08:47:00.000-07:00

Summertime in Oregon slows us down. We linger longer on the porch with that first cup of morning coffee, we take more walks enjoying the brisk, beautiful air, and we wander through the farmer’s market picking out berries and freshly grown vegetables, visiting with neighbors, and talking to the vendors about the beautiful flowers. I think we all just are happy the rains have stopped and we feel the blessing of sun, friends, community and the beautiful bounty of Oregon.

Our driving also slows down during the summer. This has nothing to do with our attitudes of bliss. It’s because the road crews are out in force fixing up the potholes and tackling projects that weren’t possible during the rainy season. Flaggers wave cheerfully as they direct us to slow down just a little bit more. Bright orange signs warning us of upcoming road projects sprout along side the roads with the same abundance as blackberry bushes taking over the gardens. But this is a normal summertime event which we all just take in stride.

Driving also slows down because of the tractors and combines traveling from barn to field. Driving time increases as we become part of the parade of necessary farm implements some of which take up 1 ½ lanes so passing is impossible. John Deere green fills the view in front of us.

Oregon’s colors really are orange and green, but during the summer months that has nothing to do with the UofO Ducks and OSU Beavers. The ODOT road crews and John Deere machinery carry the Oregon colors for the summer.

The Blessing Filter

2009-06-24T22:00:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about how I live my life. I try to take care of the people around me, whoever that may be. I respond to clerks in the store, talk to gas station attendants, offer to get my office partner a cup of tea when I go to refresh my cup, and greet people when I pass them in the hallway. I like people! But it dawned on me recently that how I treat myself can be seen as a blessing, too. Let me explain. Not exercising and overeating inhibit my energy and wellness levels. I can’t interact as well with people, or take part in things as easily. So by taking care to exercise, and eat and drink properly I put aside a barrier that reduces my ability to participate in what’s going on around me, to invest in the people I care about.

Driving to work I have a choice to be hurried, tailgating and passing other people who are also trying to get to work, or I can bless the other drivers by giving them some space. Doing this calms me down which is a side blessing, and I’m pretty sure, even though they don’t know it is happening the other drivers appreciate not being pushed.

There are so many little things we do each day that can bless the people around us and, in turn, bless us.

* If you take the last cup of coffee at work, start a fresh pot. There’s nothing quite as nice as getting that first cup of freshly brewed coffee.

* If you like someone’s outfit, tell them. Or if you liked the presentation they gave in the meeting be gracious enough to say so.

* Don’t notice flubs. When someone does something blameworthy or even just plain stupid, chances are they already know it and don’t need constant reminders or gentle ribbing that they were a dork. Let things pass quietly.

* Let others talk. Ask them how they are, how things are at home, on the golf course, or at work. . . and then listen.

* Clean up after yourself in the little ways – like don’t leave the bathroom counter splattered with water, wipe out the microwave if your cocoa bubbles over, put the newspaper back together when you’ve finished reading it.

It’s not that every waking moment needs to be focused on being a blessing to someone, or tending to everyone’s needs, but when there are choices to be made, even those small choices, I think they should be made with this blessing filter. I know that when I purposely choose to take that one small extra step that I not only bless someone, some of the blessing will splash back onto me. And maybe, just maybe the world will be a better place even if only for that moment.

I got Lucky in Zambia

2009-06-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

Traveling to Zambia was difficult. The boarder crossing in and of itself was a time laden – expensive - dusty - baboon filled (that’s another story) - waiting - passport stamping event. The roads in Zambia were atrocious. Potholes half the size of our car dotted the road and were difficult to see in the dusky conditions. Jessica had a touch of food poisoning so wasn’t feeling well. People lined the streets walking to somewhere, or maybe it was from somewhere – it’s kind of hard to tell the difference. There were more people walking along this Zambia thoroughfare than I saw at the local Mardi gras parade when we lived in Louisiana. There were animals and children running all over the place. So traveling in the dusky (and dusty) conditions, weaving through the pothole slalom while dodging people, animals and children, well, let’s just say it was a white knuckle, hold – your - breath kind of a trip.

It was a very difficult day of traveling. As we were going through ramshackled check points, dodging people, navigating through all of the red tape and pot holes, one of us would make a comment followed by “knock on wood.” The problem was we didn’t have any wood to knock on in our white VW Polo so we made make-shift wooden knocks on the closest thing we could find like my journal since it was made from wood pulp. This would make us laugh and restore the mood in the car. It’s the little things that can change a mood, isn’t it?

The first day in Zambia I had an opportunity to visit a craft market while visiting Victoria Falls. I spoke with a talented carver named James. He was so proud of the animals he could carve from the roots of trees, pods and branches, and he spoke to me with such respect. His grandfather was with him in his cramped tented shop and he would play music on some percussion instrument. I enjoyed the music and hearing about the details from James, so I ended up buying a carved giraffe from him for about $7 US dollars.

When we left Zambia we had to navigate back over broken roads, drive through hordes of people and animals walking on the roadway again. Then Jessica said something followed by “knock on wood.” The frantic and joyful searching began for something close to wood when I remembered I had the giraffe I bought from James the previous day. I unwrapped the giraffe, and both Jessica and Kent knocked on him. We had a wonder trip back through Zambia, and an easy time passing all of the check points and boarder crossing. We all three decided then and there that it was our lucky chunk of wood we now had in the car, so we named the giraffe Lucky.

And that’s the story of how I got Lucky in Zambia.

Determining depths

2009-06-11T18:04:00.000-07:00

Why do we long for things we don’t have?
Girls with curly hair wish for straight hair
Boys crave the prowess perceived in other males
Women envy smaller bodies, smooth skin, and contentment
Men want power over that one more last indefinable thing.
Can there be a suitable reason to explain these longings,
these cravings for things we don’t have?
Some are valid and important, yet other seems to be only surface things
although nonetheless important.
Why do we feel hunger beyond our current blessings?
Is what we have not enough?
Will nothing satisfy us?
Are we just one-dimensional spoiled people?

I think not.
I'm learning that we are so deep and complex
that as we learn about ourselves, as we grow,
other elements develop,
yearnings surface – maybe nostalgia,
parts of who we are that may have been lost
are rediscovered.
We grow
We learn
We crave to know more
be more
love more
be part of something more

And, tell me friend,
how can that be shallow?
Isn’t that the definition of deep?

Things that made me smile this week

2009-06-06T17:07:00.000-07:00

Things that made me smile this week:

1. Hearing my best friend laugh. She has the best laugh.

2. Lucy's reaction when I told her we were going for a walk. Wow! Such enthusiasm.

3. The "Welcome Back" sign on my office door.

4. My office partner, Carrie. She is sweet, brilliant and just AWESOME.

5. Finding out my nephew and his wife are going to have a baby.

6. Not having to take Maladrone anymore. That's the malaria medicine we needed in Africa.

7. Seeing the pale pink flowers on the blackberry bushes. That means blackberries are a-coming!
Love 'em.

8. Gorgeous shoes in my size on the clearance rack. Nice!

9. Hanging out with Daniel on Monday and Tuesday. I'm so comfortable with him.

10. Talking to my friends. I have great friends both new and old, and I love them all!

My Post on Jessica's Blog

2009-05-30T23:42:00.000-07:00

May 27, 2009
Namibia is wonderful. Yes, the country is beautiful – majestic mountains, savannahs rich in color, deserts that go on forever, the ocean and coast line – truly, Namibia lives up to its name the Land of Contrasts.
But one of my core beliefs is that the people make the place and I can say without hesitation that the Namibian people are amazingly friendly, gracious, intelligent and accepting. They are such lovely people.

We rented a car in Windhoek, a VW Polo. Its nice, but the steering wheel is on the right and we are driving on the left side of the road which is a story for another blog post. Stopping at petrol stations is a treat. There are 4 to 6 attendants and when they see us turn into the stations, one will claim our car and start waving us to them. So much energy and great customer service – Oregon gas station attendants (well, attendant since there is usually only 1) can take notice. But, here’s a difference between cultures, Kent would say “fill up with regular” and the attendant would smile and say “good morning. How are you?” So Kent would have to stop and say “good morning. I am fine. How are you?” After the greeting, THEN we could get gasoline, along with all of the windows washed, the air in the tires checked, as well as fluid levels under the hood – now THAT is customer service. To be fair to Kent, this only happened once. He is a fast learner and now is a great greeter. And Kent has adapted quickly to driving on the left side of the road as well as negotiating check points and chatting with guards.

We have driven a long way in our short time here. We traveled the southern border to the northern border, then to the eastern border and into Zambia to see Victoria Falls, then all the way to the west coast. We’ve seen so much – animals, cultures, architecture, art, vistas. . . that it would do a disservice to try to explain it all in a single blog post. But there is one thing here in Namibia I will tell you about, the one major goal of my trip, and that was to be with Jessica. SHE is truly amazing. Her blog posts, as wonderful as they are (isn’t she a great writer?), don’t tell half of the story. Her strength and ingenuity, the way she communicates with the people here, the respect she has for herself, the culture, the school and the learners have left me in total awe. People ask me all of the time if I worry about her being in Africa. And, you know, I really don’t. I worried more about her driving up and down I-5 between home and school than I do here. And now that I’ve seen her here for myself, I’m even more sure and comfortable that she is in her element. She understands life and how to make wise choices and how to roll with the punches. AND, most importantly, she knows how to laugh.

Jessica and Jill decided to have a braai (BBQ) for us on Wednesday night – our last night in town. Jill’s parents just arrived in town. So Jessica and Jill bought a goat. Actually they arranged with Ginno to buy a goat for them. Well, Ginno bought the goat the day we arrived in Khorixas which is 4 days before the braai. What does one do with a goat for 4 days? We have no pin. It can’t stay IN the flat with us. We can’t have it bleating for 4 days. SO Gino and his brother decided to slaughter the goat for us. Okay, good plan. Oh wait, what does one do with a slaughtered goat for 4 days? Jessica is the most resourceful person I’ve ever met. There was a moment of “OMG! I own a goat!” Then she started laughing at the situation while unpacking the small freezer she owns hoping a slaughtered goat will fit into the small compartment (it did). The actually slaughtering of the goat was not my favorite part of this trip, but the skill that Ginno’s brother showed was amazing. He is about 14 or 15 and very strong and knows his way around a goat. The payment for slaughtering a goat for someone is the innards and the head. I guess those are the best parts. I was asked if I ever ate goat intestines before. Apparently they are delicious. You know, I can honestly say that I have never been asked that question before, and I can honestly say that now and for every time in the future that I’m asked that question, the answer will be no.

So lets jump forward to Tuesday when it is time for us to take the frozen goat to have it sectioned at the local butchery shop. We could not get the goat or the container it was in out of the freezer. . . both were stuck. Kent took a knife and chopped the ice away from the edges to break the goat and container free. We were laughing at our situation. Then we drove into town to have the butcher cut the goat for us. But the goat was frozen to the container and wouldn’t budge. I’m pretty sure everyone in the butcher shop was laughing at us, but, oh well. We brought the goat home and left it on the kitchen floor to thaw. Then the electricity went out and we ended up sitting in candlelight and cell phone light with a frozen goat.

Cute side note: when the lights came back on we could hear the children in the dorms cheering. It was so adorable! I really love the children here.

The braai went off without a hitch. The food, meat and porridge, was delicious, children dancing, a soccer game on the TV, lots of people – a fun, fun party!

Kent, Jessica and I spent part of our time in Khorixas working on the library, Jessica’s library at the school. It is a nice place and you can see Jessica’s handiwork throughout the room with the way she has organized the books, instructions she has posted, the card catalog with cards in her handwriting for each learner. However, the walls were peeling and the room just needed some brightening. So I picked out some bright paint colors – grass green, ocean blue and a sunny yellow, and we cleaned and painted the walls. It turned out very nice. We stenciled designs on the walls and hung curtains. The curtains we bought are shetangays – cut pieces of cloth that have multiple purposes from clothing, to wall coverings, to curtains, to whatever you need it to be. The shetangays we bought are red with green, yellow and blue star bursts. All of the colors we choose are colors from the Namibia flag and each color represents a part of Namibia. So even though we tried to make it bright and fun, we kept it educational and meaningful to the learners. It was awesome watching the learners and teachers come into the library seeing it for the first time. I sat with some kids looking at Ranger Rick magazines, showed some of the girls how I painted the flowers in the room, and spent time with a world map showing some of the boys where I live in relation to Khorixas. It was so fun.

It will be hard to go back to Oregon. I love the way I feel here. My shoulders are loose here, my brain actually turns off at night, I can drink coffee without getting a sour stomach, I can sit and watch people, chickens, donkeys, goats, and/or scenery without having to do something else. . . this is all really good for me, a person who is constantly on the move multi-tasking. I hope to take this part of Namibia home with me. Well, that and about another thousand hugs from Jessica.

Visiting Jessica

2009-05-05T18:47:00.001-07:00

Today Kent and I are heading on a 3 week adventure to South Africa and Namibia to visit our daughter Jessica. She is serving in the Peace Corp is Khorixas Namibia and has been there over a year. She teaches in the school and runs the library among other duties as necessary. Here's a link to her blog: http://jessicalynnroyer.blogspot.com/.

We land in South Africa 30 hours after leaving Oregon. I have a few books to read that were suggested by a good friend, plus my journal and iPod to keep me company on the flight. We meet Jessica in Capetown on Saturday morning SA time (10 hours ahead of PCT). Our full itinerary is posted in my FB notes, so feel free to look there for more details.

Know that we won't be available online much, but will try to update and post pics as we go whenever we can. Whenever those times arise and we are on a real connected computer, know that we can see e-mail so please feel free to send e-mail via FB or one of our regular home addresses.

Thank you to Daniel for flying home from New Hampshire to house and dog sit for us. It makes leaving our home behind so much easier. Thanks to my friends at work who are covering for me - John, Julie, Carol, Michael, Kenyon and Fred. Oh, and thanks to Dr. Schindell for getting me the correct meds to clear this cough. AND thank you all for the prayers.

Well, there's not much time before we head for the airport. I better go pack my toothbrush.

See you all at the end of the month.

Hugs,

Linda

My Race

2009-05-03T11:59:00.000-07:00

Well, the Eugene marathon is over. Bib #921 is being retired. It feels too good to set a goal and to achieve it. Of course, I had to modify my goal this week. I trained for the full marathon and was so ready to do it. I had calc'd out all of my time splits, knew my pace, how to read what my body was telling me, worked up to the 20 mile training run and nailed it. I was so ready. . . until Monday. I woke up with a sore throat that was worse by Tuesday. Wednesday was still a training day even though I felt horrible, but I did surprisingly fine. By yesterday I wasn't sure I was going to be able to compete at all. I woke up shaky and weak. Now, this is a time in your life where it is good to live with a health care professional. Kent was able to dose me up and help me push the symptoms to the side long enough to compete but I would have to switch from the full to the half marathon. And I had to promise to not use OTC meds like that again as soon as the race was over.

So, I got to the Expo yesterday and checked in for the race as a full marathoner and did the Expo as a full marathoner. Before I left, however, I went to the registration desk and had my status changed to a half marathoner. At first this felt like defeat because I had trained so hard. A good friend (actually several good friends) told me that I needed to take it easy and focus on Africa more than the race which was awesome advice, so thank you friends. You all were totally right.

Last night at the hotel was so fun. My friend Jamie was in the race, too so we roomed together. We talked about family and training and food and a tiny bit about work (we work together). It was fun. Having a friend to share the event with makes it so much more enjoyable.

This morning when Jamie and I got up the first thing we did was check the weather. Rain. Oh well. We were so pumped up for the race that we really didn't care. We put the timing chips on our shoes, ate some energy foods, and headed for the starting line.

Jamie is 23 so I lost sight of her after the 3rd mile. She runs faster than me. But I chatted with other people along the course and enjoyed the music on my iPod. It was a good race. One I finished with a respectable time and with one lingering question. . . .. whens the next one?

Things that made me happy this week

2009-05-01T21:32:00.001-07:00

1. Being with Ruth at her bachelorette party. We met at a nail salon and totally took the place over. Ruth was gorgeously happy and I was so happy for her.

2. I enjoy talking to old friends. It really matters to reconnect.

3. Training for this week's marathon. I love training. I love training with Lucy.

4. My new jeans. They are so sweet. Silvers from Maurices. . .those who shop KNOW what I'm talking about.

5. Talking to Jessica on the phone about our trip. She is so excited and that makes me happy.

6. Prepping for our Africa trip. THAT make me so happy. I am so thrilled to be going on this adventure with Jessica and Kent.

7. Discovering Shirley Johnson blues singer. Trust me, blues fans. . .just buy her CDs.

8. Finishing a complicated analysis at work. Somedays I look at the tasks ahead of me and wonder how on earth to do them. . . .then, next thing I know, I'm done.

9. Cute shoes and pink toe nail polish. Yeah, I know, I've mentioned these before, but my happiness IS what it is.

10. Viewing the 3 Sisters on my training run on Wednesday. It was so clear I could see the sisters in central Oregon. Majestic. Awesome. Breathtaking. I love living in Oregon.

11. MY NEW iPHONE. Geez. . .why did it take so long?

Three Little Words

2009-04-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

How can three little words
carry from my soul to yours
the way I feel about you

creating a connection
able to withstand any
distance or onslaught

How do three little words
floating from your lips
so drenched in meaning

steeped with passion
cause my soul to sing
and my heart to leap

How are three little words
ever alive and capable to
change my life, to change our lives

infusing our existence with color
filling our days with meaning
connecting us for eternity

Lazy Sunday Afternoons

2009-04-19T15:41:00.000-07:00

Lazy Sunday afternoons
on my back porch swing
not a cloud in the sky

not a chore to be done
the sun caresses and warms my skin
birds chirp the music for the scene

a spider web sparkles like crystal thread
red domed lady bugs crawl along the banister
Lucy naps on the rug by the door

occasional breezes stir the wind chimes
humming birds search for sweet nectar
mountains fill the background view

dandelions like miniature sunbursts dot the yard
I melt into this painting while
swinging on my back porch swing.

Things that made me smile this week

2009-04-18T18:17:00.000-07:00

Ten things that made me smile this week

1. Sharing Vietnamese sandwiches with Josh and Hallie. Very spicy, but delicious!

2. Good brakes on my car! It was a REALLY close call!

3. the orangy-red feathers on a robin - yeah, I got that close. It was so beautiful.

4. Finding an error on the controller's spreadsheet. This sounds kind of mean, but its just that she's brilliant and knows accounting better than anyone. I just stumbled upon something, but I got bragging rights for about 5 minutes.

5. My friend's laughter. I have some really good friends and I really enjoy being with them. Knowing that they are happy and enjoying life truly blesses me!

6. Working out with Ruth. Ruth holds me accountable and pushes me. We egg each other on.

7. New jeans one size smaller! Sweet! Okay, I'll fess up - I bought 4 pair of jeans.

8. Playing my flute. I forgot how much fun it is. I'm working an a classical piece.

9. Hanging out at Charlie B's Rhythm and Brews. It's just so comfortable there. The food is good, the coffee delish, and the music amazing. . . . .what's not to like?

10. Watching this elderly couple at the fundraiser the other evening. I'll share more about that on another post. But it was truly a delightful experience.

Come walk with me

2009-04-11T18:07:00.000-07:00

Most people seem to think that training for a marathon is difficult. It really isn’t. It’s just a matter of dedication. You have to want it. Do you want to know what the worse part of training and competing in a marathon is? It’s swollen fingers. Yep, that’s right. Your hands are moving back forth rapidly and the fingers fill up with blood. It can actually be quite painful especially if you have had an injury to a finger lately. In the first marathon I did, around mile 12, people were running or walking with their hands in the air. It looked like we were all surrendering. It was pretty funny.

So I want to share with you some of the reasons why I do marathons.

1. There’s the goal thing. You know setting/achieving a goal – blah blah sense of accomplishment. Okay, that one’s out of the way.

2. Then there is the fitness benefit. For me that means way cuter clothes and I love cute clothes. So there you go, now you know the real reason I am a marathoner.

3. There’s the fact that your brain goes into this idle mode. . . down time for my brain - essential. So those are some of the reasons I like training.

Now here's what keeps me going back out on the road:
Screaming yellow flowers
character in the sky
views of snow dusted mountains
smell of freshly mowed grass
old fences that stretch along the path
gnarly branches
the way the tops of trees touch the sky
animals like baby cows, perfectly blue birds, old lazy horses, nervous deer, dogs that bark hello to me
other pavement pounders out putting mileage on their shoes who wave a greeting.

Enjoy the pics from my training session today. Just a small sampling but enough to give you a taste.

If you are ever in the area, I’d be happy to show you what I’m talking about.

Come walk with me.

I am so blessed.

Seeker

2009-04-10T21:36:00.000-07:00

I got to spend the other night at a writer's conference. It was amazing. I want to be a writer. My sister told me when I was 8 years old that I would be a writer. We didn't talk intimately much at all like sisters are supposed to, but I remember the day she turned to me and told me that I was going to be a writer. It was such a real moment in my life. It was one day that we connected like sisters are supposed to. That was a long time ago.

So anyway, I got to spend last evening with Sage Cohen. She's amazing and kind and talented. Here's her website: http://www.sagesaidso.com/. She sent me an e-mail earlier encouraging me to write and thanking me for visiting with her. I told you she was kind. Her signature block reads Poet.Writer.Seeker. I like that.

Between the writers in my life already and my online writer's group, I've been learning (relearning) a lot. I can't tell you how much I've forgotten and I love getting this part of my life back. I've dug up old journals. Wow! I used to write. I've always hidden my writing unless it was something silly. But no more. I don't have anything to show you now, but I will.

This is so much fun!

Don't Tell My Boss Please

2009-04-06T17:15:00.000-07:00

The weather was gorgeous
My office was hot
The work was unyielding
So I took a shot

I grabbed my briefcase
Shut down my laptop
Turned off the lights
And was out like a shot

Jumped into my car
and stepped on the gas
Cranked up some tunes
Said "finally, at last"

Once I got home
I put on play clothes
got a leash for Lucy
and on the trail we go.

We walked and we walked
soaked up the sunshine
So happy to say
that today was all mine.

Happiness this week

2009-04-05T11:52:00.000-07:00

I had such a wonderful week. Just thought I'd share some of the things that made me happy this week:

1. I noticed that my workout coat is the same color pink as the dogwood blossoms. Sweet.

2. Watching the tips of Lucy’s ears flip when we walk. It’s like they are waving hello to everything.

3. Singing in church. Nice.

4. Talking to an old friend on the phone this week. That just blessed me all over.

5. Pretty pink nail polish. It’s just so girly. It made me smile.

6. Having a friend come to dinner and asking if I would make my BBQ Meatballs. What a compliment! So I made a double batch.

7. Checking off the longest training run before the marathon. I enjoyed accomplishing that.

8. Hearing my best friend laugh. We have way too much fun. No, we have just the right amount of fun and we laugh a lot.

9. Smelling freshly mowed grass. Ahhh.... I love that smell. Makes we want to play softball.

10. Laughing at myself when I realized I was singing along to my Ipod while wearing earbuds. That was funny.

There are hundreds of other things like the views of Mt. Jefferson and Mary's Peak, the multitude of daffodils, watching Lucy nap, the buds on the trees, the sounds of the birds on the trail yesterday, the color of the birds, listening to my favorite song, mastering a logic problem, a great cup of tea. It's so awesome being surrounded by joy and blessing and happiness. I love my life.

Getting older

2009-03-30T21:36:00.000-07:00

I’m enjoying getting older. Most days I wake up feeling like a little kid on Christmas morning. What is going to be in the gift called today? Some days I tear into my gift with energy and joy relishing everything. Other days I like to savor my gift. I admire the wrappings noticing details and peel back the layers. And when I go to bed at night, I fall asleep knowing that a new gift will be waiting for me when I open my eyes. Ah, it is wonderful.

My days weren’t always like that. I used to be a coward. I was afraid to live life to the fullest or do anything that would attract attention to me. It felt like if I liked it or did it, it was wrong or bad. Even with mundane things. Like one day when I was in my 30s a neighbor stopped by and commented that our house smelled like popcorn. Well, it did. I had just made popcorn and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I made some stupid excuse and apologized. WHY!? I have no idea. If that person came over today I would have them sitting on my back porch eating 3 different kinds of popcorn while we tried to figure out which wine goes with. Geez. Really. I was such a coward and I have no idea where that came from. (to be honest, I think a Citron Dragon martini goes better with popcorn than wine. . . but I’m still researching.)

Oh, those were wasted days. And THAT is why I like getting older. The years bring wisdom, and a boldness that I love. And, I think that the years also bring a playfulness that just didn’t seem proper when I was in my 30s. It could be, too, that with age I now know that I don’t have to jump through all of the hoops just because they are there. I jump through whatever hoop I want. . . .and knowing me, I’ll take the damn hoop and hula hoop with it.

Yes, it is wonderful.

"It’s a sad day when you find out that it’s not accident or time or fortune, but just yourself that kept things from you. – Lillian Hellman"

Thought for today. . .

2009-03-28T18:14:00.000-07:00

"Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not the destination." I read that somewhere recently, probably on a bumper sticker. But it reminds me of what I told and still tell my kids. . . ENJOY the journey. Just find a way to enjoy the journey, friend. Sometimes it is small things like the way you can feel the wind on your face, or the song on the radio.. . . but there is good everyday. Once you start looking, you will find a hundred ways everyday that can give you joy on the journey.

That's all I got for you today.

I was just thinking. . . .

2009-03-27T17:53:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about how we e-mail people about what's going on in our lives. We write about where we went to dinner, or what our latest project is. Those are nice things, but I don't really know how some of the people in my life actually spend their days. You know, the routine, the comfortable rut we all have and like to live in. My nephew is good at giving short glimpses into his life, but most of us aren't. Here's a glimpse of my typical day:

I set my alarm for 5 so I can get up to workout. I usually hit the snooze, though, and snuggle in for another 30 minutes. When I do get up and work out, I usually read a devotional while walking on my treadmill.

Breakfast is 1 egg and 1 piece of toast. Lunch is a frozen low cal box meal like a Smart Ones. Most of the time I eat at my desk while I read. Sometimes I work through my lunch. I go to a workout class M, W and F after work. I try to go home early on Tuesdays. On Thursdays I usually hang out with friends after work. This last Thursday I had the best time with a good friend at McGrath's eating crabcakes and drinking some really crisp wine. Sometimes I go with my movie group friends to see a flick, then to Applebees for a margarita.

I play the radio way too loud in my car and I sing and really get into the music. I always drive to work the same way taking a shortcut through some side streets, but always drive home the main roads. That just doesn’t make sense to me, yet I still do it everyday with my radio too loud. Oh, and I love my car!

I drink tea at work instead of coffee for a lot of reasons. The coffee at work is bad. It should be a crime to make bad coffee. My cup is yellow with white polka dots. Julie has one just like it. We have a lot of matching cups and we like that.

I dress up for work everyday. I love skirts and fun cute shoes and I get teased because my jewelry matches my outfits perfectly most days. I try to walk as softly as I can so as not to disturb people.

My earphones are pink. I like listening to music when I’m working. My favorite CDs are the ones Jessica makes for me. In fact I’m listening to the first one she gave now. But my musical tastes are expanding everyday. I probably spend too much money buying music. Nah.. . .on second thought, I don't think that is possible.

I smile a lot. I greet everyone I meet. And I'm a hugger, too, so don't get too close if you don't want to be hugged. Yep, I’m even a hugger at work. And I join in on just about everything. Wanna play hookie from work and go to Shoetini's? Sure. Can I have some Altoids? Sure. Can you join us for the audit meeting? Sure. Yea, it's not all fun and games, but I love it anyway.

I make my bed every morning. Leave the radio on for my dog, Lucy when I leave for work. Floss my teeth way too much. And I think I eat too many Altoids.

The first thing I do when I get home is play with Lucy. She’s a wonderful greeter. If it’s nice outside I sit on the porch to look at the mail. Then I prepare dinner.

Every evening I try to get a chore done so I don’t have so much to do on weekends. I fail a lot, but then I’m good with that. The house is already ready for whoever drops by. And I wouldn’t care if it wasn’t. I love having people over!

Later in the evening I log into FB to see what’s going on in my world and say hi to my family and friends. I log into several blogs and other sites I like to check routinely. If you know of a good one, please share.

I braid my hair every night before I go to bed. I set my alarm for 5 a.m.. . .and, well, I think know the rest.

One of my new favorite poems

2009-03-15T18:29:00.000-07:00

So Much Happiness

It is difficult to know what to do with so much happiness. With sadness there is something to rub against, a wound to tend with lotion and cloth. When the world falls in around you, you have pieces to pick up, something to hold in your hands, like ticket stubs or change. But happiness floats. In doesn't need you to hold it down. It doesn't need anything. Happiness lands on the roof of the next house, singing, and disappears when it wants to. You are happy either way. Even the fact that you once lived in a peaceful tree house, and now live in a quarry of noise and dust cannot make you unhappy. Everything has a life of its own, it too could wake up filled with possibilities, of coffee cake and ripe peaches, and love even the floor which needs to be swept, the soiled linens and scratched records. . . . Since there is no place large enough to contain so much happiness, you shrug, you raise your hands, and it flows out of you into everything you touch. You are not responsible. You take no credit, as the night sky takes no credit for the moon, but continues to hold it, and share it, and in that way, be known. Naomi Shihab Nye

The Undo Button

2009-03-07T18:25:00.000-08:00

I like the undo button on my computer. Wouldn't it be nice if we could have undo buttons on life? So I was thinking, if I could have a life undo button, what would I undo?

Lets play with the idea. Here's a partial list:

1. undo sassing my 8th grade English teacher
2. undo quitting. Yes, I would quit quitting.
3. undo drinking orange juice in Cuba, New Mexico that gave me food poising
4. undo not listening to more stories from my grandmother
5. undo not excepting invitations to the park
6. undo every time I didn't do my best
7. undo not getting my grandmother's brown sugar cookie recipe.
8. undo every time I was a coward

So, this begs the question, how can I live the rest of my life so I don't need an undo button?

1. Be honest with myself
2. Listen to what others have to say
3. Invest in the people in my life
4. Be brave enough to change
5. If something is worth my time, it deserves my best effort
6. Be gracious enough to tell others what I appreciate about them
7. Be generous with kindness
8. Try something new

Days gone by

2009-02-21T18:36:00.000-08:00

I've connected recently with a lot of friends from my school years back in Leavenworth, Kansas. It's wonderful finding out where everyone ended up, seeing pictures of their children, their kid's weddings, and the subsequent grandchildren.

OMG, am I old enough to be a grandmother??? If they are, then I am. No way!!! Please tell me I don't look old enough to be a grandparent.

Of my friends from back then, two are pastors (Mark and Marty). A few are teachers (Pam and Paula). One works with the stock market (that's you Jeff). We have people from our class that live all over the U.S., doing all sorts of work from accounting (Tony, Eric and me), to massage (you know who you are), to writing, cooking, and just about everything in between.

The sad part is that I lost touch with these people, people who were so important to me. WHY? I don't really know. At the time way back then it was like I needed to find a way that was my own. I didn't know I was an important part of their lives. I felt that I needed to find something else. My own path. I'm hearing/remembering events that were so important to me then and still now, and finding out how important they were to these people, how important I was to these people.

I'm touched and humbled at the same time.

I'm finding out that they have gone through some tough times like having a parent die, or both parents die, and I wasn't there to be a support. I knew these parents. They drove me places, fed me, included me in family events. . .and I wasn't there when it mattered the most. My apologies, friend. Truly.

The good thing is that we've found each other again. The good thing is that we are talking now. It's nice. There are pictures. And stories. I like it. I really like talking about stuff we did, places we went. I had a blessed life back then. And I'm blessed all over again.

You've all blessed me in ways I didn't quite understand until recently. Wish I had the maturity to get it back then. I didn't. If I owe any of you apologies, please accept them. And know that I'm glad you were part of my life then, and now. Genuinely.

Looking forward to catching up some more and staying in touch.

Hugs (yes, I'm still a hugger)

My Uncle Charlie

2009-02-05T19:02:00.000-08:00

My Uncle Charlie passed away this week. What a sad day. Uncle Charlie had always been such a constant in my life. My dad loved his brother and that was something I could always feel. Those two respected each other and supported each other and loved each other. Uncle Charlie was a gentle soul.

I have wonderful memories of my uncle. I remember when I was a young girl at my grandmother Martens' house, and Uncle Charlie would come in from tending the fields. He'd be tan and a little dirty, but always smiling and loving the fact that he was doing what he was doing. My grandm other would make the best lunches. Oh, and she made the best brown sugar cookies (recipe died with her and I've tried to resurrect it-pray for me because I may figure this recipe out some day) and apple pie. I remember eating apple pie with Uncle Charlie. Grandma Martens had beautiful blue and white dishes. Her table was round with claw feet.. Maybe that's why my first dining room table was round with claw feet. I loved that table. Sometimes Uncle Charlie would pour some whole milk over his pie. I never tried that. Well, I haven't tried that yet. But then nobody makes pies like Bertha Pearl Martens. Oh golly, were her apple pies awesome!

One time my Uncle Charlie let me ride on the tractor with him while he was harvesting wheat. I must have been 10 or 12 years old. I was probably staying with my grandmother for a day or two. He told me to taste some of the wheat, and I did. I can remember the warmth of the sun that day, the motion of the tractor and the taste of the wheat. What a wonderful day. I love tractors to this day.

Uncle Charlie had a chair that I loved. Every time I was at his house I remember this one chair. It is made of leather and had a print stamped or burned in it that reminds me now of horses. I can't recall the exact design in my grown up brain - I, unfortunately haven't been in his house for quite a while, but I remember walking into his house as a kid and always loving that chair. So rustic. So ru ral. So beautiful. So Uncle Charlie, and so me! As adults with small kids, he always came to see me what I was back h ome. My kids won't know that chair.

And, please stay with me as I tell one more story. . . my dad is a wonderful brother to his big brother. My dad lives on a piece of land west of his brother and I remember, and this was as an adult, I remember walking into our living room and seeing my dad watching Uncle Charlie's farm/land through his binoculars. These men took care of each other. They watched over each other. They loved each other. These two men were brothers.

Uncle Charlie's memorial service and funeral is tomorrow (Friday, February 6, 2009 in Leavenworth, KS). He is a veteran of WWII. He didn't talk about that. He was most proud of being a dad, husband, grandpa, farmer, brother, and son. I hope he was proud to be my uncle. I know I'm so happy he w as part of my life.

Uncle Charlie, I will miss you alot.

Charles Martens. Wonderful brother to my dad and awesome uncle to me. Love you lots. Bye.

Finger Saga

2009-01-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

Dec 6, 2008

I was in a freak accident last month that left my finger broken and lacerated. I still have pin holding the bone together. It really hurts, and it hurts all of the time. But, good has come from this. It not fun ending up in emergency surgery, and it's not fun hurting, but I've met some wonderful people through this and I've learned a lot of interesting things. One of the things I learned is that people genuinely care. Another thing I'm learning is how strong I am. I choose to take the good.

Jan 3, 2009

I wrote that a few days before the pin was removed. Since then I have been through 4 PT sessions. I really like my therapists, Julianne. She is persistent and encouraging, and another one of the good things. My finger has made some wonderful progress during those 4 session and lots of work on my part between those sessions. However, there is still one part of my finger that will not move by itself. Julianne told me the other day that if it doesn't start responding to the therapy soon, I may have to have more surgery to remove the scar tissue that's wrapped around the ligaments. Today I've been more vigorous in doing my exercises in an effort to get that scar tissue to break up. Pray for complete healing of my finger and for wisdom as we move through the process.

Jan 13, 2009

I met with my therapist today. She gave me a couple of new tools to use to get full use of my finger back. I really like my therapist. Her name is Juli and really talented in hand therapy. She said she was doubtful I could fully recover without surgery, but that she doesn't normally have clients with as much determination as me which meant she was hopeful. I found that encouraging. Pray I can get full recovery without surgery, but if it needs to happen, that we will navigate that road with wisdom. I cannot tell you how much good has come from this accident. I don't like having to go through this, but I've met the most amazing people, found an awesome home for my dog, discovered that rest really does heal (novel idea for a marathon walker), and found how many truly caring people there are in this world. Praise God!

End of the world. Enjoy!

2009-01-09T18:51:00.000-08:00

I was watching a show on the History channel the other night and sent my son a note about it.

My note to Daniel:

"Have you seen anything about the end of the world happening on 12/21/12 as predicted by the Mayan calendar? I'm watching it on the history channel. It talks about how Merlin's predictions, other oracle's prediction, Mayan calendar and something called software "bots" have all predicted that the earth will end on the same day. . . . It's interesting stuff. The way the earth is supposed to end is when the sun, Earth and a black hole align. The black hole was predicted in the Mayan calendar and just recently discovered in the middle of the Milky Way. It's fascinating if you listen to it as just a historical program, but kind of gives you the heebie jeebies if you start internalizing it all.

Daniel's awesome response to me:

I guess we'll find out in a few years.

The supermassive black hole at the center of the galaxy is called Sagittarius A* (pronounced "a star"). It is about 25,900 lightyears from Earth. It has a mass of about 3.7 million suns. The acceleration due to gravity of an object is:

g = -mG/r^2
where g = the acceleration due to gravity
m = the mass of the object
G = the gravitational constant
r = the distance to the object

Plug in the numbers for Sag A* into that equation, and you get an acceleration due to gravity of -8.179e-15 m/s/s.

Jupiter, on the other hand, is much smaller, but much closer. It has a mass of 1.8986e27 kg and it is located 4.204 AU from Earth. Plugging in those numbers, and we get -3.202e-7 m/s/s. That means that the average pull on Earth by Jupiter is 8 orders of magnitude stronger than Sag A*.

I would be far more worried about the gravitational effects of Jupiter than any black hole at the center of the galaxy. But we align between Jupiter and the Sun at least once a year, yet the Earth hasn't exploded.

By far the densest object Earth encounters every year is Congress. Now that might be something to
worry about.

Daniel.