Being an In-Law

My son asked me the other day how I knew what to do as a mother.  I didn’t know how to answer except that he taught me.  I wasn’t a mother until he was born and we just learned together.  There weren’t Googling opportunities back then.  I only had what I learned from my family, and TV sitcoms. Yeah, I tried to channel Carol Brady and my mom.

Anyway, it made me wonder about being a mother-in-law.  I’ve been one now for 1 ½ years and I still don’t know how to do it.  My son has told me that my energy level can be bit difficult for his wife to ‘get’ and I get that.  I drive a lot of people nutso because I’m upbeat and positive and happy and “everything is just fine” no matter what is going on.  I like to sing and dance and make jokes.  I love taking photos and being silly.   My daughter used to tell me I was hyperactive.  I’m not.  I’m very very quiet a lot of the time except when I’m around family and friends who I haven’t seen for a while, and then I’m ON!   So I can see how someone who isn’t around me much would find that a kinda annoying.   (Annoying isn’t the right word, but I can’t think of another.  Let’s try ‘somewhere between annoying and “is this for real?” ‘)

 

My daughter-in-law is an amazingly strong, graceful and insightful woman.  I love how her mind works and how she takes care of everyone around her.  I really do love that about her.  She is also direct, but in a very kind way.  I love that, too.  Plus, she has a work ethic that is admirable.  I couldn’t have picked out a better wife for my son.  She’s funny, beautiful, quirky in all the right ways, loving and direct.  What’s not to ADORE???  

I guess my question is do we have to have a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship whatever that is?  Can we just be friends like my kiddos and I are?   Why is there a stigma when one adds the “in-law” to the end of a noun like mother or daughter?  It’s like I’m supposed to be or do something but I have no idea what it is.  I felt the same way when I became a daughter-in-law. . . and I never figured it out.  I guess it isn’t a wonder then why I haven’t figure out this side of it.  

My son and I talked about it.  I decided that I don’t know how to be a mother-in-law, or daughter-in-law for that matter.  I don’t do roles well.  I only know how to be me, accept what’s going on, and just enjoy people for who there are and where they are in life. So that’s what I’ll do.   

Oh, and if there is some sort of How To for mother-in-laws or daughter-in-laws, don’t send it to me.   I kinda like my theory best. . . just be who you are.  Skip the "in-law" title. 

Life with a GoofMutt

Jack is a white golden retriever and lab mix.  We call him our GoofMutt because it fit whatever kind of dog he really is.  He is one of the most joyful beings I’ve ever encountered.  I’ve learned a lot from this guy and I truly appreciate him.

One of Jack’s best traits, other than his joy for EVERYTHING, ALL OF THE TIME, is his living in the moment.  He is mindful.  Mindfulness is one of those things we all strive for.  We want to be part of what is going on, invest in the people around us, feel that connection with the here and now.  We want to stop to smell the roses.  It comes so easily to him.  It doesn’t matter what he does, he enjoys it.  When things are tense or someone isn’t well, Jack is RIGHT there by your side feeling it with you and loving you know matter what.  And he takes joy in knowing that he has you to care about.  He really, really does.  

Jack is curious.  We’ve had to put a child lock on the cabinet where we keep the trash can.   It took him some time, but he can open it.  He can open jars, canisters, and medicine bottles with childproof caps.    And he can lock doors.  Yeah, I’ve been locked out twice.   I haven’t witnessed anything that he’s hasn’t been able to figure out.  I love his curiosity.  And I’m more curious now because of him.  Hey, if my dog can figure open a childproof cap without chewing up the bottle, I can sure figure out how to, say, write a computer program.  Yes, his antics sometimes leave me baffled, however he’s usually so proud of what he’s figured out, it is difficult to be mad.  He amazes me.

Jack came into my life at a very crucial time.  I didn’t know it at the time, but I was headed into a very dark place.   

I lost my WOW in life.  His continual joy, love, acceptance, living in the moment and being true to who he is were and still are an important part of my getting my own WOW back.   

Jack has WOW! My old WOW in life is gone, but the newer, cleaner, purer WOW I have now is more Jack-like, and for that I am grateful.   

Life is simpler now.  No masks, no pretense, no regrets, just me.  I don’t shed fur all over the place like he does, but I hope I shed as much joy to those in my life as Jack gives me.  

Who knew that a GoofMutt could be an angel in fur?  I didn’t.  But he truly is heaven sent.  Do you have a fur covered, 4 legged angel in your life? I hope so.  I truly hope so.   

Things that made me HAPPY this week.

1.  Working on photos for my niece for her special day

2.  Preparing and eating some super healthy, delicious meals

3.  Getting my hair and nails done.  I love my spa friends

4.  See Jack getting well. I love my dogs

5.  Talking with my kids for hours on the phone

 

6.  Photographing an ornery cow.  MOO!

7.  Reading.  I like getting lost in books.

8.  COFFEE!  I enjoying sharing coffee with friends.

9.  Super gorgeous jeans that fit and feel AWESOME

10  Endorphins.  There’s something addictive about working out.  I love endorphins!!!

Poppies

A goldenrod colored sign

on the side of the road

warns me to yield

to oncoming traffic

I yield to the other cars

noticing that the stripe

on the road is that same

unpleasant color of yellow. 

The poppies on the median strip

are goldenrod yellow, too

beautiful goldenrod yellow

glorious poppies

smooth delicate petals

move slightly in the breeze

while cars whiz passed.

I yield for the poppies.

Time. Fleeting Time

I heard so many times how some wished they had an extra hour or two in a day.  Well, during ‘fall back’ they got it.  Yep, a 25 hour day. . .  that extra hour to do with whatever you wished.   So what did I see???   An extra hour of rest?  No.  Most got up with their body clocks or their dog’s or kid’s body clocks.  An extra hour to accomplish a project or some plan that needed some extra time?  No.  Most didn’t give a second of that extra 3,600 seconds they got to any project or plan, the ones that needed that extra time if only it were granted.   You got it, and you wasted it.  

Well, it was.  A majority of us got an extra hour on Sunday to make all those special things happen.  That extra rest we needed, that project that just needed a bit more time if we could just squeeze it out.  

And what did we do???  Nothing.  We got extra time.  We got that one anomaly in this year that gives us the extra time we pray for each day and we did nothing with it.

Time is the most precious commodity we have.   Money comes and goes.  Friendships come and go.  Time only goes

. 

So, today you have the allotted 24 hours.  How are you going to spend it???  God knows, we most likely wasted a majority of the time we’ve already had.  How is this allotment going to be different?  What are you going to do today to make your life, our lives better?