Days gone by

I've connected recently with a lot of friends from my school years back in Leavenworth, Kansas. It's wonderful finding out where everyone ended up, seeing pictures of their children, their kid's weddings, and the subsequent grandchildren.

OMG, am I old enough to be a grandmother??? If they are, then I am. No way!!! Please tell me I don't look old enough to be a grandparent.

Of my friends from back then, two are pastors (Mark and Marty). A few are teachers (Pam and Paula). One works with the stock market (that's you Jeff). We have people from our class that live all over the U.S., doing all sorts of work from accounting (Tony, Eric and me), to massage (you know who you are), to writing, cooking, and just about everything in between.

The sad part is that I lost touch with these people, people who were so important to me. WHY? I don't really know. At the time way back then it was like I needed to find a way that was my own. I didn't know I was an important part of their lives. I felt that I needed to find something else. My own path. I'm hearing/remembering events that were so important to me then and still now, and finding out how important they were to these people, how important I was to these people.

I'm touched and humbled at the same time.

I'm finding out that they have gone through some tough times like having a parent die, or both parents die, and I wasn't there to be a support. I knew these parents. They drove me places, fed me, included me in family events. . .and I wasn't there when it mattered the most. My apologies, friend. Truly.

The good thing is that we've found each other again. The good thing is that we are talking now. It's nice. There are pictures. And stories. I like it. I really like talking about stuff we did, places we went. I had a blessed life back then. And I'm blessed all over again.

You've all blessed me in ways I didn't quite understand until recently. Wish I had the maturity to get it back then. I didn't. If I owe any of you apologies, please accept them. And know that I'm glad you were part of my life then, and now. Genuinely.

Looking forward to catching up some more and staying in touch.

Hugs (yes, I'm still a hugger)

My Uncle Charlie

My Uncle Charlie passed away this week. What a sad day. Uncle Charlie had always been such a constant in my life. My dad loved his brother and that was something I could always feel. Those two respected each other and supported each other and loved each other. Uncle Charlie was a gentle soul.

I have wonderful memories of my uncle. I remember when I was a young girl at my grandmother Martens' house, and Uncle Charlie would come in from tending the fields. He'd be tan and a little dirty, but always smiling and loving the fact that he was doing what he was doing. My grandm other would make the best lunches. Oh, and she made the best brown sugar cookies (recipe died with her and I've tried to resurrect it-pray for me because I may figure this recipe out some day) and apple pie. I remember eating apple pie with Uncle Charlie. Grandma Martens had beautiful blue and white dishes. Her table was round with claw feet.. Maybe that's why my first dining room table was round with claw feet. I loved that table. Sometimes Uncle Charlie would pour some whole milk over his pie. I never tried that. Well, I haven't tried that yet. But then nobody makes pies like Bertha Pearl Martens. Oh golly, were her apple pies awesome!

One time my Uncle Charlie let me ride on the tractor with him while he was harvesting wheat. I must have been 10 or 12 years old. I was probably staying with my grandmother for a day or two. He told me to taste some of the wheat, and I did. I can remember the warmth of the sun that day, the motion of the tractor and the taste of the wheat. What a wonderful day. I love tractors to this day.

Uncle Charlie had a chair that I loved. Every time I was at his house I remember this one chair. It is made of leather and had a print stamped or burned in it that reminds me now of horses. I can't recall the exact design in my grown up brain - I, unfortunately haven't been in his house for quite a while, but I remember walking into his house as a kid and always loving that chair. So rustic. So ru ral. So beautiful. So Uncle Charlie, and so me! As adults with small kids, he always came to see me what I was back h ome. My kids won't know that chair.

And, please stay with me as I tell one more story. . . my dad is a wonderful brother to his big brother. My dad lives on a piece of land west of his brother and I remember, and this was as an adult, I remember walking into our living room and seeing my dad watching Uncle Charlie's farm/land through his binoculars. These men took care of each other. They watched over each other. They loved each other. These two men were brothers.

Uncle Charlie's memorial service and funeral is tomorrow (Friday, February 6, 2009 in Leavenworth, KS). He is a veteran of WWII. He didn't talk about that. He was most proud of being a dad, husband, grandpa, farmer, brother, and son. I hope he was proud to be my uncle. I know I'm so happy he w as part of my life.

Uncle Charlie, I will miss you alot.

Charles Martens. Wonderful brother to my dad and awesome uncle to me. Love you lots. Bye.