My son asked me the other day how I knew what to do as a
mother. I didn’t know how to answer
except that he taught me. I wasn’t a
mother until he was born and we just learned together. There weren’t Googling opportunities back
then. I only had what I learned from my
family, and TV sitcoms. Yeah, I tried to channel Carol Brady and my mom.
Anyway, it made me wonder about being a mother-in-law. I’ve been one now for 1 ½ years and I still
don’t know how to do it. My son has told
me that my energy level can be bit difficult for his wife to ‘get’ and I get
that. I drive a lot of people nutso
because I’m upbeat and positive and happy and “everything is just fine” no
matter what is going on. I like to sing
and dance and make jokes. I love taking
photos and being silly. My daughter
used to tell me I was hyperactive. I’m
not. I’m very very quiet a lot of the
time except when I’m around family and friends who I haven’t seen for a while, and
then I’m ON! So I can see how someone
who isn’t around me much would find that a kinda annoying. (Annoying isn’t the right word, but I can’t
think of another. Let’s try ‘somewhere
between annoying and “is this for real?” ‘)
My daughter-in-law is an amazingly strong, graceful and
insightful woman. I love how her mind
works and how she takes care of everyone around her. I really do love that about her. She is also direct, but in a very kind
way. I love that, too. Plus, she has a work ethic that is
admirable. I couldn’t have picked out a
better wife for my son. She’s funny,
beautiful, quirky in all the right ways, loving and direct. What’s not to ADORE???
I guess my question is do we have to have a
mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship whatever that is? Can we just be friends like my kiddos and I
are? Why is there a stigma when one
adds the “in-law” to the end of a noun like mother or daughter? It’s like I’m supposed to be or do something
but I have no idea what it is. I felt
the same way when I became a daughter-in-law. . . and I never figured it out. I guess it isn’t a wonder then why I haven’t
figure out this side of it.
My son and I talked about it. I decided that I don’t know how to be a mother-in-law,
or daughter-in-law for that matter. I
don’t do roles well. I only know how to
be me, accept what’s going on, and just enjoy people for who there are and
where they are in life. So that’s what I’ll do.
Oh, and if there is some sort of How To for mother-in-laws
or daughter-in-laws, don’t send it to me.
I kinda like my theory best. . .
just be who you are. Skip the "in-law"
title.
