Fill In Your ________ (or My Soap Box)

When people are talking about how much they dislike ___________ (gays, smokers, disabled, tattoos, abortion, divorce, Lutherans, military, fill-in-the-blank) if they ever wonder how they may be talking to a ___________, or is the mother of a ____________, or is widow of a soldier.   Do they ever wonder how their words of superiority and condemnation of this group of people to their friend could actually be a knife of judgment cutting and stabbing their heart?  They think they know me and can ‘trust’ me with their ‘truths’, but, seriously, how do they know for sure that I’m not a gay, smoker, divorced and disabled Lutheran, and daughter of a tattooed, Vietnam POW victim?   I hear and see comments about how all _________ are filthy, sinner, moronic, weak-willed scum, and how, of course, I’d understand that because I’m such a lovely person.  Well, I don’t.

Recently I had a friend telling me how awful _________________ were.  I listened to her, and I guess my silence, born from disbelief at what I was hearing, was seen as agreement.  She continued.  Coming from such a kind, service minded, friendly person, I was kinda shocked that I was hearing what I was hearing.  When it was my turn to talk, I just said back to her what she had said about ____________ but used a group/term that was part of her life.   She got super defensive and started justifying her situation.   I’m not saying she is right or wrong, but her words hurt and not because I was part of that particular group (I wasn’t, but I’m sure I’m part of some abhorrent-to-someone group), but because hate hurts.  That broad stroke of judgment was without mercy, understanding or grace.  She can have her opinion and God bless her, but don’t spew that hate my way.  Normally I wouldn’t be that confrontational, however this time it felt good.  I actually still like this lady and don’t know why she has so much negative energy about these people but I hope her angst goes away some time soon.

Here’s my take on things and some might say I’m being wishy washy or that I’m not toeing the line or fighting the good fight, but here it is none-the-less.  I may not understand why someone could be _______________ or participate in ___________, or why they’ve been diagnosed with __________ but then I don’t have their background, don’t know that my understanding of life is exactly right on, or been in the situation.  SO how on earth can I have the exact truth for them?  I’m still trying to figure out what is right for me and that seems to be a full time job. 

Every person has a story and that story has what brought them into your world.   Love them where they are, as they are.  Invest in them as you’d like to be invested in.   Who knows?  We might actually learn something kinda cool, like _______________ are just like you.  They are not judging you because you are _____________.   Apparently, because they like being in your life, they must have a great taste in picking friends, huh?  

 It seems to me that our fill-in-the-blanks pretty much look the same.  Don’t you?