A Sweet Ride Into Empy Nest

When I was sitting in the sand box 20 years ago with my children, I could not envision a day when they would be on their own. I didn’t really try because the constant demands of parenthood kept me in the here and now (or the then and there since it was 20 years ago). I loved being a parent. I loved being the room mom, making cookies, working on projects, planning birthday parties, making their clothes, walking them to school, teaching them to ride a bike and eventually drive a car, and watching them grow into the wonderfully independent and happy adults they now are.

While raising children I, personally, became a rut lover. What I mean is that I wore the same type of clothes, never tried different foods, jewelry, clothing or shoes, and I was controlled by the clock and calendar. I was in a rut that worked for me. My time was consumed taking care of everyone else – band camp, grocery shopping, church, homework, science fair, vet appointments, work, military wife duties, chores. . . well, you know the list - that I just stuck with one thing that worked. I didn’t have to think about it so it was one thing off my list.

Kids just don’t leave, though. Like, they aren’t here one day and gone the next. It’s a gradual process. College is a gray area. They are kind of gone, but not really. This gray college time is good for everyone. It eased me into empty nest and it eased them away for parents. I called it Empty Nest Lite.

Then college was over. The kids were gone and I now had time on my hands. So. . . .now what? At first I was overwhelmed and wasn’t too sure what to do. Crying was an option, but I’m not a good crier. It was time for me to rediscover me and, boy, have I been having fun. My first goal was to try to live a life that my kids would want to be part of. That was a great start and a great idea to get things going.

So I lost 20 something pounds, started marathoning, joined some groups, and became a regular at some of the local venues. All of that meant new friends along with new experiences. My new friends helped me find some hipper clothes and cuter shoes, and encouraged me to experience new foods. I think I’ve finally found my style and I like it.

Then I discovered Facebook and started looking up friends from years gone by. Reconnecting with these amazing friends has been an incredible experience. These old friends reminded me of some of the things I used to do, like writing. I had forgotten how much fun and enriching writing can be. And music. I used to be so involved with music. I rediscovered blues and attend a blues jam once a week now. I’m not a participant, but an enthusiastic listener. I know all of the musicians and actually attend their concerts.

Anyway, it’s all a journey. I loved those sandbox days and wouldn’t trade them for anything. I loved the school days with all of the hectic schedules, fundraisers, volunteering and carpooling. I loved the college years and being part of intellectual conversations with my kids and meeting their new college friends. Whoa, that was so much fun!

However, I especially love now. My children have become my friends. They are amazingly strong, independent, courageous people. They are hard workers, happy, compassionate and funny adults who understand the importance of living life to the fullest. We talk about everything and I love that! I’m so proud of them and who they are. But mostly, I’m honored to be their friend.