I'm still a Kansas girl!

Being a Kansan, I hear "You're not in Kansas anymore" all of the time. Other responses I get when I say I’m from Kansas are “Do you know Dorothy?” or “Hey, my uncle lives in Tonganoxie. Do you know him?” or “God, how on earth did you end up in Oregon.”

I know better than to say I’m grew up in Leavenworth. OMG – the comments then get really old. “What were you in for?” “Do you like life outside the wall?” “Oh, so you know how to make license plates.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. . . try to think up something new, folks.


But today I got a box in the mail. I didn’t order anything, then I saw it was from a gift shop in Leavenworth. So I ripped it open knowing it had to be something delicious and fabulous from my mom. She has a great sense of humor and she has great tastes. Mix those two together, and it means wonderful surprises! I love my mom.


Box is open and I saw the back of what I knew was a door mat. I squealed with delight. I knew whatever it was on the front was going to be something else. . .and I was right. But first I read the note. It said:


Linda, Right after I read your comment that you felt like a true “Oregonian” when walking in the rain without an umbrella, I saw this door mat and thought of you – so bought it. Consider it an “unbirthday” gift.

Be sure to read the note on the back. It is funny!! Love, Mom.



I then looked at the front of the door mat and it read “You are not in Kansas anymore”. And it is printed on a yellow brick pattern. So CUTE!


Okay, first lets go back to the note. If anyone else would have said to me “I saw this door mat and thought of you” I would most likely not be excited. To be equated to a door mat does not fit my persona, well, I sure hope it doesn’t. But being that it was said from my mom, I knew it was going to be something special. Mom, you can equate door mats with your favorite youngest child anytime.


Okay, are you ready for the note on the back of the mat? Here it is:


Do not use mat as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury. When using mat, follow directions: Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about. This mat is not designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000 lbs. If mat begins to smoke, immediately seek shelter and cover head. Caution: If coffee spills on mat, assume that it is very hot. This mat is not intended to be used as a placemat. Small food particles trapped in fibers may attract rodents and other vermin. Do not glue mat to porous surfaces, such as pregnant women, pets and heavy machinery. When not in use, mat should be kept out of reach of children diagnosed with CFED (compulsive fiber eating disorder) Do not taunt mat. Failure to comply relieves the makers of this doormat of any and all liability.


I loved this. How perfect for today’s society of senseless lawsuits. This company understands that nonsense, but yet still had to do a disclaimer. They did it perfectly. “assume the coffee is hot” Really? Coffee is hot? Who knew?


Anyway, it is a lovely gift, not just the mat, but being thought of in such a special way, and then the gift of laughter. No one can give a better gift than love and laughter.


Now excuse me while I go wipe my feet just like my mom taught me.

THANKS, MOM! I love it!!!