There are some things I don’t understand. I’m 50 years old. I thought by now I would get it. But even though my chronicle years are five decades old, my inner years are only two or three decades old. I mean I have wisdom now that I didn’t have then, and I have a sense of me that I never thought I would ever have. Those things are great, but I just thought there’d be some click, a change, a revelation. . .something, you know.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m very happy. I have close, dear friends that I love and who love me no matter what. I have money to spend which I didn’t have when I was in my 20s and 30s. I am part of a church that is making a difference in this city. And I have adult children who are now my friends. . .very dear friends. I love that. So I’m not complaining about where I am.
It’s just that I moved from a frightened nervous worry-wart person to this confident, happy person, and there wasn’t a fanfare, an ‘aha’ moment, an epiphany, a noticeable paradigm shift. . . it was just this gradual shift. I’m slightly disappointed. THAT is what I don’t understand. I really wanted some fireworks, a roll off, to be able to yell “Ta Da”. . . I would have done a cartwheel.
And I don’t understand people who just don’t get it. I didn’t used to get it so you’d think I’d be patient with them, but it just seems so simple now. Is it the years that give it this simplicity, or is it something in me?
Anyway, for those of you still on the frightened, nervous, worry-wart path, no worries. It will all be okay. Just saying. . . life is what you make it and want it to be. So just go for it!
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m very happy. I have close, dear friends that I love and who love me no matter what. I have money to spend which I didn’t have when I was in my 20s and 30s. I am part of a church that is making a difference in this city. And I have adult children who are now my friends. . .very dear friends. I love that. So I’m not complaining about where I am.
It’s just that I moved from a frightened nervous worry-wart person to this confident, happy person, and there wasn’t a fanfare, an ‘aha’ moment, an epiphany, a noticeable paradigm shift. . . it was just this gradual shift. I’m slightly disappointed. THAT is what I don’t understand. I really wanted some fireworks, a roll off, to be able to yell “Ta Da”. . . I would have done a cartwheel.
And I don’t understand people who just don’t get it. I didn’t used to get it so you’d think I’d be patient with them, but it just seems so simple now. Is it the years that give it this simplicity, or is it something in me?
Anyway, for those of you still on the frightened, nervous, worry-wart path, no worries. It will all be okay. Just saying. . . life is what you make it and want it to be. So just go for it!
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